tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3115260514178140021.post363235793199515434..comments2023-05-14T06:20:54.641-05:00Comments on Sarah's Daughter: Validate batshit crazy? Surely you jest SarahsDaughterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070845597474113030noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3115260514178140021.post-82455360329928143702012-12-11T17:28:05.725-06:002012-12-11T17:28:05.725-06:00Love it! A hold 'em jar instead of a swear ja...Love it! A hold 'em jar instead of a swear jar, ha! <br /><br />Thanks to one of our good CO friends (retired AF), we have a whole arsenal of poker game variants: Anaconda, 3-toed Pete, high Chicago, blood and guts (you don't introduce blood and guts until you know you have a good, stable crowd...that one can get nasty)...the list goes on. I think you guys would be fun players :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3115260514178140021.post-73769954438768305472012-12-11T17:19:16.134-06:002012-12-11T17:19:16.134-06:00Absolutely! Funny you mention hold em. We taught o...Absolutely! Funny you mention hold em. We taught our kids a few months ago. They get fined $1 for various things like leaving lights on, pitching a fit, not cleaning their bedrooms etc. The money goes into a jar and becomes the pot when we play hold em. When they're especially well behaved, RLB chips in so the pot reaches $10. SarahsDaughterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11070845597474113030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3115260514178140021.post-26635562593955761652012-12-11T17:10:38.276-06:002012-12-11T17:10:38.276-06:00Now I'm nostalgic for the poker nights we used...Now I'm nostalgic for the poker nights we used to host every other Saturday when we lived in CO. It was great. They showed up like clockwork, no invitations or reminders needed. People just walked right in, grabbed whatever they wanted out of the fridge and took their spot at the poker table at 6 PM. We'd go until the wee hours most nights. Our crew was a total mixed bag...guys, couples, one good "low drama" girlfriend of mine. There was plenty of spirited "table talk" and banter, but no one ever left with hurt feelings. We haven't been able to assemble a similar crowd since we've moved back here, but we have had some poker "reunions" when we've gone back to CO visit. Ah, memories :) <br /><br />I'm glad to hear I'm not the only woman in the world who hates aimless shopping. Ugh. <br /><br />So are you guys up for a little hold 'em if our paths cross one day? :) Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3115260514178140021.post-37356287671986199262012-12-11T16:28:17.659-06:002012-12-11T16:28:17.659-06:00RLB and I have discussed before that you are an ou...RLB and I have discussed before that you are an outlier. Every exchange we've had with you here and on FB has been rational and lacking histrionics. It's very refreshing. :)<br /><br />My female friendships are similar to yours. Those I spend time with are all happy to be married and desire to stay that way. And, we associate together as couples. I don't do girls nights and hate to shop just for the sake of shopping (so that rules out shopping with the girls). Similar to you, I find gatherings of unpredictable women nightmare social situations. <br /><br />Because of the military I'm blessed to have great friends all over the country and in several other countries. It is my biggest pleasure to have our paths cross so we can spend some time together. When we lived in Korea was when I had the most friends gathered in one spot. RLB and I love to entertain (okay, I love to entertain, RLB wants it to happen at his house because he doesn't want to go anywhere) so we would host some of the best get togethers there in our 600 sq ft apartment. Our friends there are well aware they were vetted. No drama, good marriage, you're in! :)SarahsDaughterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11070845597474113030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3115260514178140021.post-83091377551996494332012-12-11T15:28:41.053-06:002012-12-11T15:28:41.053-06:00I totally get what you're saying here, and it ...I totally get what you're saying here, and it further confirms my thoughts that I might be a bit of an oddball.<br /><br />I really hate being stuck in a room with a bunch of other women. Not only do I typically find the conversation incredibly boring, there's also a good chance that I will end up pissing one of the other women off if I don't watch what I say. Things like baby showers are nightmare social situations for me. I feel MUCH more comfortable in the man cave watching football with a bunch of "assholes." I am not easily offended by typical "guy" talk, banter, etc.<br /><br />No, I'm not a lesbian. I'm not even a tomboy (I'm very uncoordinated). I DO have female friends, but not many. I choose female friends who are not oversensitive "girly" girls. We don't get all pissy at each other for no reason. I just don't have the time or emotional energy to maintain those kinds of friendships.<br /><br />Don't get me wrong, I don't hate ALL things girly, and yes, I can certainly emote with the best of them under the right circumstances. I've also had my fair share of irrational moments...but like you've talked about here, I think I usually do a good job of controlling my reactions. Not always, but usually.<br /><br />I'm curious, SD. What do your female friendships look like?<br /> Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3115260514178140021.post-64547643065650437522012-12-11T11:37:48.305-06:002012-12-11T11:37:48.305-06:00Feminism has taught you that what I suggested is &...Feminism has taught you that what I suggested is "being an asshole." It's not - not in the understanding that asshole = wrong. It's understanding the nature of women and for her own benefit speaking to her according to her need and the needs of the group engaged in the conversation.<br /><br />In the OP I expressed this as protecting our health. Negative escalation is not healthy, nor is it productive. <br /><br />Think of the days when the cigar room was off limits to women. Men protected women from the conversations that went on in there so as to not offend their sensitivities. A woman who pushed through to be a part of the conversation was expected to adhere to the nature of that conversation without pulling feminine tactics (appeals to emotion and solipsism). <br /><br />Women do not understand "normal guy rules" - those who attempt to act like a guy, fail miserably. They look a fool. You go a long way to encourage the women you interact with to be women (feminine) and discourage them from attempting to act like a guy with stern assertion. Careful though, it exhibits high value and is a turn on - unless of course that is the outcome you desire. <br />SarahsDaughterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11070845597474113030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3115260514178140021.post-84324046955749722182012-12-11T11:01:00.555-06:002012-12-11T11:01:00.555-06:00I guess I'll just be more of an asshole with h...I guess I'll just be more of an asshole with her next time. Another thing I noticed was that after her outburst, she didn't say another thing the rest of the evening. <br /><br />Occasionally the guys will tell each other to shut-up since over the webchat its very difficult to make things out when more than one person is talking. The typical male response is a quick "Well fuck you too" or a middle finger the in camera, followed by their acquiescing to the request. The offensive response is meant to say "Ok fine, I'll shut up. But only because I want to." Then conversation continues.<br /><br />The group of guys ranges in ages from early 20s to mid-late 30s, but normal guy rules still apply, you could put us in a bar and have a group of loud assholes arguing and laughing at each other.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3115260514178140021.post-76461334684219004132012-12-11T08:44:25.497-06:002012-12-11T08:44:25.497-06:00That is a perfect example of female escalation whe...That is a perfect example of female escalation when compared to a man's reaction to the same. A guy would have said, "oh, sorry" and allowed you to carry on without his further interruption. On the negativity scale it would have been about a -1 or -2. He wouldn't have personalized it, instinctively attributed it to you denigrating him, nor would he have thought you think poorly of him. <br /><br />Her response shows she did think all of those things. And as the overwhelming theme of this blog will reveal, women think they know the nature of men. Feminism assumes it is the same as women's nature and that proper instruction into the nature of men is unnecessary to engage in discussions, work with, or have successful marriages with men. Unfortunately our fathers have accepted this lie and no longer instruct their daughters on the true nature of men and the inherent differences of it and that of women. <br /><br />Had you been a women, even having to deal with the annoying comments when trying to answer a question, you would not have used the words "shut up" (even with the added "a sec" - which revealed you didn't mean to silence her completely, just for the moment) because we know the response that would follow. I will patiently endure a woman's blather before saying shut up because I know it will escalate and she will perceive it as a personal affront. <br /><br />With that in mind, it is ludicrous for women to assert that men should temper their speech as to not offend us. If we want to engage in discussion with men we need to get into a man's frame of thinking, recognize our own tendencies to get offended easily and suppress it. <br /><br />The reality is, ar10308, the "a sec" added just enough wiggle room for her to feel justified in her emotional outburst. That added politeness only serves to backfire with women. Had you said, "shut the hell up" she would have shut up. I remember going off belligerently with RLB one time and he boomed, "Sit down, shut up, and listen to what I have to say!" There was no pleading or politeness. As a result, I shut the hell up, sat down and listened - and was very turned on by his authority. <br /><br />Bat shit crazy...I know. ;)SarahsDaughterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11070845597474113030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3115260514178140021.post-62971174089890426352012-12-11T07:26:43.162-06:002012-12-11T07:26:43.162-06:00I'd like to confirm your observation regarding...I'd like to confirm your observation regarding negative overreaction by females with an experience I just had last night. <br /><br />A few nights a week I participate in a web chat with a number of car enthusiasts. They are people of all ages and genders all over the country. <br /><br />Last night, one person was telling a story which resulted in a bunch of people asking questions and making statements at the same time. As people, got their questions answered, a female in the group persisted in making annoying comments while I was trying to get a relevant question answered. I told her to "shut up for a sec". This instantly enraged her and she threw half a dozen angry and personal insults at me about my looks with some shaming language thrown in. I basically just patronized her, blew them off and continued as normal. Her outburst completely derailed all conversation for a few minutes while everyone tried to recover and figure out what happened. <br /><br />All because I said "shut up for a sec".Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com