My brother hates me. Apparently, it has been a long standing issue for him. I wasn't fully aware of his detest for me until recently. He blew up at me over Christmas. I had been in a different state and/or country for the last eight years. Yet, somehow his hatred of me has gotten worse since I've been gone.
There is very little I can do about this. I don't have any plans to change my life in order to appease him. My children and wife don't like him or his way of life. I could go on about how decadent his life is and why he's such a poopy head. That isn't my purpose.
His barn burned last week and my mother and sisters called to let me know. They were quite distraught due to its historic nature as our family's farm. Our family's barn has burnt four times since I was born. My father blames me...in jest. I'm not Carrie. The first one was the year I was born and I wasn't present for three of them. He was. Again, I jest. Just a lot of bad luck over forty plus years.
When I first heard from my sister that his barn was burning, I thought fuck him. My parents hold a life lease to the house on his farm (there are two houses) and they invited us to stay for Christmas. During our stay, he demanded I and my family leave his property. So, we did. There was much consternation within the family. There still is. I really had no inclination whatsoever to go see my family during this crisis.
Then, I prayed. I prayed for guidance on what to do. I already know I'm not smart enough to make such decisions, so I prayed. After roughly half and hour, I knew I had to go there. I didn't like it but I knew I had to. It's a three hour drive and literally a pain in my ass. I'm still dealing with 'driving a HUMVEE off a cliff' issues. I'm still not sure why I needed to go, but I know I had to and I'm glad I did.
My mother and I spent some time together getting some supplies. She told me about how she put up with her brothers and brothers-in-law being asshats. Then, she still goes to see them. She still brings the living ones food on Christmas. She still remembers them fondly when they die. It's not a sugar-coating. It's just reality. Sometimes you have to do what you don't want to because it's the right thing to do. We don't always find out why it's the right thing. However, if you are praying about the right thing to do, you will get the answer. If you listen to that voice and act on it, you will sleep better. I have also found that things go better in your own life. YMMV.