No ability to blush

While driving out of town on Saturday, RLB and I stopped at a McDonald's for lunch. The booth we sat in was right behind a young millennial and her grandmother. The young gal looked to be between eighteen and twenty and Grandma looked like she was in her eighties.

Perhaps Grandma was hard of hearing, though we couldn't hear her end of the conversation, but Miss Thang was talking very loudly. For the next fifteen minutes we got to listen to a disheartening display of the inability to blush.

Miss Thang was telling Grandma all of her woes. Mom was requiring her to pay $150 a month rent!:

"No, I don't think she's lonely, Grandma, she just needs my money.  I'm not there 90% of the time, I'm always at Matt's, so basically I'm paying all that money for storage."

"Her health insurance sucks Grandma, I'm not going to be able to keep my doctor. It's ridiculous, I wanna stay at that clinic, I wanna keep that doctor, I wanna keep the dentist I have now."

"Yes, I love this doctor, he is so thorough, he checks my IUD every time I go in."

"Do you know what an IUD is Grandma?"

There was more. So much more.

Back to the basics - Solipsism

While contemplating the examples from my life when I was oblivious to my own solipsism, I remembered something my ex boyfriend would say to me when we were fighting: "It's just me, me, me, me, me, bucket of shit, and then you."

Sadly, that is the truth of our unexamined lives, isn't it ladies? Is it a feature or a flaw? Is there a survival element to our tendency to be solipsistic? Perhaps; however we really need to be aware of it and the impact it has on our relationships.

Here's a facepalm worthy meme that I've seen recently:

Oh, Snap! You Go Girl!

Think of some ways that you can recognize it in your own life. When someone is talking to you, do you listen to them or is your mind immediately searching for how this pertains to you? Do you get the urge to say such things as: "You think that's bad, listen to this..." Is your experience, be it worse, better, more interesting, etc. the only thing you can think about?

We can't deny that our experiences form our opinions but we can make an attempt to accept that our experiences and perceptions are not universal. We might actually be able to conclude that in some cases, our experience and our perceptions are an anomaly.

While solipsism reaches beyond mere selfishness, denial of its existence and refusing to deliberately change the way we think will lead to very outward displays of selfishness, like the meme above.

There is a mighty enemy that does not want you to come out of your denial. He does not want you to change the way you view life. He wants you thinking of your self only. Think of this quote by Eckhart Tolle: "The power is in you. The answer is in you. And you are the answer to all your searches: you are the goal. You are the answer. It's never outside."

Women, in particular, are susceptible to believing these lies. The enemy of your soul ladies, knows that you are a very easy target to distract away from Truth using this type of nonsense. Guard yourself from it. Immerse yourself in the Words of Truth so that you will reject this evil. Selfishness and self absorption are insatiable sins. The expressions of these sins grow ever more grotesque until finally the woman is completely incapable of seeing beyond herself. 

Solipsism and submission to our husbands can not exist at the same time within us. If we go through the motions of submission yet maintain a solipsistic outlook, we are not in submission and therefore not obedient to God. Submission requires that we view life through our husband's lens so that we may know him well. In order to be his help meet, we must know his needs and his perspective. To respect him at all times, we must deliberately repent of solipsism and selfishness and come in to unity with him.

The power is not in you, it is in prayer. The answer is not in you, it is in the Word. You are not the goal, God's will is. You are not the answer, God is. A life well lived is always lived outside of ourselves.

World's Toughest Job? No, no it's not.

I woke up at 6:00 AM as I usually do on a Tuesday morning. I made a cup of coffee, let the dogs out of their kennels, fed them and took them outside. Next I packed my husband's lunch: ham, roast beef, bacon and cheese sandwich, some sliced summer sausage and cheese, a couple baggies of chips, water, iced tea, and a couple energy drinks, an energy bar, and some chocolate.

At 6:30 I brought him a glass of milk, turned on his bedside lamp, and said "good morning." I returned to the kitchen to make my children's lunches. At 7:00 I made sure my husband was awake and up and moving. He left for work at 7:15. The kids were up and eating breakfast, ready for their day of school.

I sat down at my desk around 8:00 AM and read on the computer for an hour: my favorite blogs, Facebook, and the Bible, while drinking more coffee. At 9:00 I got changed and ready to go to the gym. By 12:00 I was back at home planning supper. I took the dogs outside again. I ate lunch. I took a shower, made a couple phone calls and packed a couple of boxes (we're moving into my dream house that my husband is buying in a few weeks). I sat at my desk again, read and answered a couple of emails, called the mechanic to schedule some work done on the truck, did my daily check of bank accounts, read the news headlines, and bought a new blouse online for an upcoming wedding we're attending. I texted the personal trainer and scheduled our meeting for Friday. Back in the kitchen, I started preparing supper and added needed items to the grocery list for my weekly shopping trip. My daughters joined me and we discussed all of the events of their day.

I greeted my husband when he arrived home from work, and served supper shortly after. As a family we sat in the living room and talked about each others' day. Went over school work, grades, what's upcoming in their sports, we talked about life and politics. RLB led a fantastic discussion about living in a secular world as a Christian and how best to do it. A baseball game was on the television in the background and intermittently we talked about the game. Our children concluded their nightly routines and went to bed. RLB and I talked for another hour before heading to bed ourselves.

This morning (Wednesday), my day started exactly as it did on Tuesday. Then I watched this video.

I hope I'm not the only SAHM who watched this video and thought, "Oh, please" while considering all that went on in my husband's day and everything he did to provide the lifestyle I have. Sure, my life was busier when the children were smaller. My life was busier when the dogs were puppies. My life is busier when it's gardening season. But none of that even comes close to what I have seen my husband do over the course of the last 18 years that allows for me to, yet again, be sitting at this desk writing a post. A post I hope my daughters read should they ever feel the need to embellish the difficulties of being a mother. It is a very important job, being a help meet, being a mother, and taking care of the needs of a household. But it is not, by any stretch of the imagination, the "World's Toughest Job." 

Accept it girls, you're going to lose. Now quit being so stupid.

Boys are stronger than girls.

Girls are not given their due out of boys' natural inclination to behave honorably (an inclination very few girls naturally possess). When a girl abuses a boy's mercy long enough, she should be told to be prepared for the consequences. 

At the end of this video, the boy asks if the girl is okay. It's likely he asked this because he feared the consequences of having physically hurt her. A fear that didn't even cross her mind. 

Girls should be reminded swiftly that this behavior will not be tolerated in our culture. It should be made painfully clear to them that it is savage. 

How sad is it that we now have to educate girls about the natural respect they need to have for boys? That if left uneducated about it, they are literally stupid enough to believe they won't lose a physical altercation. 

Girls, don't ever hit a boy. 

Women, don't ever hit a man. 

Update:  Another stupid woman