Sadly, that is the truth of our unexamined lives, isn't it ladies? Is it a feature or a flaw? Is there a survival element to our tendency to be solipsistic? Perhaps; however we really need to be aware of it and the impact it has on our relationships.
Here's a facepalm worthy meme that I've seen recently:
Oh, Snap! You Go Girl!
Think of some ways that you can recognize it in your own life. When someone is talking to you, do you listen to them or is your mind immediately searching for how this pertains to you? Do you get the urge to say such things as: "You think that's bad, listen to this..." Is your experience, be it worse, better, more interesting, etc. the only thing you can think about?
We can't deny that our experiences form our opinions but we can make an attempt to accept that our experiences and perceptions are not universal. We might actually be able to conclude that in some cases, our experience and our perceptions are an anomaly.
While solipsism reaches beyond mere selfishness, denial of its existence and refusing to deliberately change the way we think will lead to very outward displays of selfishness, like the meme above.
There is a mighty enemy that does not want you to come out of your denial. He does not want you to change the way you view life. He wants you thinking of your self only. Think of this quote by Eckhart Tolle: "The power is in you. The answer is in you. And you are the answer to all your searches: you are the goal. You are the answer. It's never outside."
Women, in particular, are susceptible to believing these lies. The enemy of your soul ladies, knows that you are a very easy target to distract away from Truth using this type of nonsense. Guard yourself from it. Immerse yourself in the Words of Truth so that you will reject this evil. Selfishness and self absorption are insatiable sins. The expressions of these sins grow ever more grotesque until finally the woman is completely incapable of seeing beyond herself.
Solipsism and submission to our husbands can not exist at the same time within us. If we go through the motions of submission yet maintain a solipsistic outlook, we are not in submission and therefore not obedient to God. Submission requires that we view life through our husband's lens so that we may know him well. In order to be his help meet, we must know his needs and his perspective. To respect him at all times, we must deliberately repent of solipsism and selfishness and come in to unity with him.
The power is not in you, it is in prayer. The answer is not in you, it is in the Word. You are not the goal, God's will is. You are not the answer, God is. A life well lived is always lived outside of ourselves.
I read this when you first posted it. My mind went to the difference between the way men and women sin. Men tend to sin in open obvious ways that anyone, but especially other men can easily recognize. We covet, lust, are greedy, uncharitable, angry, etc in what tend to be very open ways. This is true if we are great sinners or if we just happen to slip up in a way that is contrary to our normal character.
ReplyDeleteWomen are much more subtle sinners. While it isn't hidden from God, it isn't automatically apparent to everyone else what is going on. Female solipsism and the sin it generates can exist without apparent recognition from others. I am beginning to think that this is one of the reasons submission to a husband's will is ordained for the female.
Consider that if a brother is struggling in an area of sin, be it sloth, drunkenness/gluttony, lust greed etc. It is fairly easy for another brother (or sister) to hold him accountable for his thoughts by examining his actions. A simple inquiry into why there are so many empty beer bottles in the back room, or a couple of clicks to check browser history and the matter is brought to light. You can't always do that with what is going on in a women's head. However a husband knows if his wife is submitting herself to his requests. Her submission to his will is a direct reflection of her submission to God's will.
I completely agree, Res. This is why it is so detrimental to a woman to be married to a man who agrees to the mutual submission nonsense and to the equality nonsense that completely ignores God's specific instruction for wives. It allows for her sin to continue with no one holding her accountable. A woman will know her sin for a time, but after too long, like I mentioned in the essay, it becomes more and more difficult for her to even know it as sin. It begins manipulatively. If a women is truly honest with herself, those times when her husband has given in to her selfish desires, she'll feel the sting of sin. She'll feel guilt and that nudge to repent. She'll know she's gotten away with something with her husband but will feel the Truth of not having gotten away with anything with God. She'll bury that and continue on. She'll covet once again and make a decision based on it, husband will once again acquiesce to her equality as decision maker in the home. Again she'll feel that nudge but will justify and rationalize her way out of accountability to God. This continues and sadly what results of it is a woman who no longer feels the nudges, she's now enveloped in her solipsism, some get mentally ill, some get physically ill and we're all led to believe their bad fortune just happened out of the blue.
ReplyDeleteI remember my mother telling my sister things that her mother (my grandmother) had taught her about marriage. Grandma wasn't a Christian. She didn't grow up in a good home. While my great grandmother was a good women, my great grandfather wasn't a good man. The things that my grandmother thought made for a good marriage were strangely biblical and contrary to the "common knowledge" espoused about "relationships" these days.
ReplyDeleteI think its strange that women who grew up in a different time and in very ungodly circumstances had a better idea of how to be happy in marriage by submitting to their husbands, than what I see happening inside of the church today.