Saturday, December 8, 2012

Baby I was born this way

"...once you've seen one woman naked, you...pretty much wanna see the rest of 'em naked." - Ron White
 Ladies, have you ever thanked your husband for denying the lusts of his flesh? Have you ever given thought to the struggle and overcoming he has gone through to commit himself to a monogamous relationship with you? Or, do you believe it is entitled to you? That no gratitude or appreciation is necessary because it is what he was supposed to do?

If you believe your husband has never struggled with lust, you are in denial. If he has not shared this with you, it is likely he doesn't trust you with the truth of his greatest internal conflict and the most powerful of man's desires. He knows the strife it causes you and the understanding you lack. He has shamed himself enough, he's not interested in receiving shame and belittling from you. He doesn't want to hurt you so he'll battle this one on his own.

From the onset of puberty and often earlier than that, boys come to understand their polygamist nature. Their thoughts become consumed with lust. Most keep quiet about it. Often they internalize it with self loathing and disgust. They keep it "in the closet" and fight with it there. When they lose the battle and give in to the flesh they are alone as their minds convict them of their sin.

Men who hope marriage will help alleviate the desires of their flesh are discouraged when even that does not work. They cry out to God, "why do I still have lustful thoughts for the women I see, I'm married now, how can this be?" 

Napoleon Hill writes in his book, Think and Grow Rich, of sex transmutation - "the switching of the mind from thoughts of physical expression, to thoughts of some other nature." Men have learned they can transmute their sexual energy into production. It is a conscientious exercise that needs great attention and application for mastery. Wives can be powerful allies to their husbands when they support this mission.

You can support your husband in this by keeping him well sexed. Optimally twice a week. The build up of sexual energy in a man begins to peak three to five days after release. The hope for this availability of sex is a huge drive for men to enter into marriage. There are many areas women can help with the success of their husbands and therefore their families. This is the most important one.

I'm going to switch gears here and discuss a perspective that our society and many of our churches are denying our heterosexual men. We've been bombarded with the message of acceptance of homosexual sex. Homosexuals are born this way. How dare we believe the words of the Bible that call this sin?

Well, we do. Too bad. Get over it.

Take a look at what the Bible has to say about the lusts of the flesh of heterosexual men: 
Do not let your heart turn to her way or stray into her paths. Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng. Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death. - Proverbs 7:25-27
 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. - Galatians 5:19-21
 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. - Matthew 5:27-30
“You shall not commit adultery. - Exodus 20:14
Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. - Hebrews 13:4
 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. - 1 John 2:16

There are more...many, many more. Heterosexual men have been told by society, churches, the Word of God, their parents, the media etc. that their nature, the very nature they were born with is sinful. They are told this natural inclination is destructive to society. That it harms the nuclear family and the sanctity of marriage. The fact that polygamy is not legal in the U.S. and that the majority of men will marry and live monogamously with their wives is indicative of the honor and submission heterosexual men have towards the Word of God and/or their contribution to a successful society. Even when men held the power, they did not seek legalization and normalization of the nature bred within them.

So, yes, God addresses homosexuality in the Bible. As he addresses all sin. The struggle that remains is with God, not with Christians that adhere to Biblical instruction of successful lives. Men who pursue the overcoming of the lust within their flesh define themselves by their journey and victories along the way, not by their sin.


  1. Most women, even those that think they are biblical, submissive wives can not comprehend this. To them, male sex drive is an annoyance that they have to put up with.

  2. We speak to our children about sex often. They become annoyed by it. They do know beyond a shadow of a doubt that mom and dad are excited about each other sexually. They also know the Biblical truth about sin.

  3. Good post, glad I found it.

    The thing is the entirely of the church teaching on male sexuality is askew from reality, and for the reasons you outline here. How does it happen? Easy, the pastors have wives who cannot handle this truth any better than the majority of women can.

    Find me a Christian who hasnt heard the silly sermons about how men must earn sex from the wife, that sex is something given from woman to man, that if he wants "the hot oven at night he must tend the pilot light all day" and similar pandering that messes up the whole dynamic of expectation on both sides.

    The man feels bad he even wants sex, so sets out to earn it. The women is bothered that he has THAT problem again, and by the way can he not live with her in understanding and all that.

    Imagine this marry for sex. Try saying that in mixed company and the reaction is explosive. way, sex is icing on the cake its not the reason for marriage, how shallow and wrong.....

    I don't really see this getting fixed anytime soon.

  4. Yes, true, especially if you have a conscience that rips you to shreds every time you have sex outside of marriage. Men marry for sex. I did.

  5. I sure am enjoying reading your blog. We write about the same things. Biblical submission is a huge issure for me. So few bloggers write about it but I think it is SO important. This issue of a man's sexual nature is huge for women to understand also. I would like to use that quote that Dalrock used about submission to write a post about if that is alright with you. Keep up the great work. I enjoy reading more of your thoughs. Oh, email me at about using the quote. I assume it is if I link it back to you.

  6. Thank you, Lori. You certainly may use the quote.

    1. It is a great quote. Can I make a suggestion? Get rid of the screen we have to translate in order to publish our comment. It is difficult to read and people don't like commenting if they have to try and figure out what it says. I turned off mine but then had to go to moderating my comments from all the trolls I got which I am sure you will get also.

    2. Thank you Lori, that is a great suggestion. I didn't actually know it was on.

  7. Do you ever listen to Dennis Prager on the radio? He speaks about these very issues...that we should thank our husbands if they are faithful to us because it is their nature to want to have lots of sex. I love how you said men need to translate it into production. When raising our boys we kept them VERY busy and it definitely kept them out of trouble. We also raised them with a ton of Scripture, filling their minds with God's truth and the His ways are best. I love that you both write on this blog. My husband comments on mine and writes on it often also. Great job!

  8. No, I have never heard of him. I'll take a listen sometime.

  9. really??women do not understand the sexual nature of men??This is an extremely sexist article.My husband should thank ME for being faithful.You people act like women are all cold and ignorant of sex.This is simply not true for 99 percent of the population.This is a two way street.There are men who are happy to be faithful and do not have an urge to stray,though,yes,We are all human ,and probably face some form of temptation.But women are facing the same issues.There is much wisdom to be found in the bible,but it must be remembered that it was written in a different time,by men,and primarily for men.But all of the above scriptures shoulb be applied to women as well.

  10. It must be remembered, huh? How cute that you've gotten lost and found yourself on a Christian blog. You'd have some words for a Muslim blog about the Koran I presume?

    You are wrong but what should concern you is well beyond this subject. I don't debate secularists, you'll find plenty of other blogs that will. Like those I have linked on the right. Good luck to you.

  11. Women don't care about the sexual nature of men. They are too busy being solipsistic. Every discussion about men and women being different is sexist. Duh. It's called recognizing the differences between the sexes. Moron. Obviously, your husband has nothing to thank you for. Your feminism is showing; you might want to cover that thing. It's kind of embarrassing. If your husband has successfully lied to you enough to make you think he doesn't think about straying, then you my friend have serious issues. There is a whole lot of denial and lies going on there. You might want to read some of Paul's writings on the subject. Then again, if you aren't Christian, I'm talking to a wall. Oh well, moving on.

  12. I'm curious as to why you said that sex should be "optimally twice a week"? Why is that optimal?

    1. Based on what I wrote right after: "The build up of sexual energy in a man begins to peak three to five days after release." Of course this can vary from one man to another but the point of this essay is for us, as wives, to come to know our own husbands needs that he has no control over. For some that may be every day, others once a week.


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