Sunday, February 10, 2013

Never going to happen

I grew up on a quiet street in a rural neighborhood. We had acreage, a large yard, a swimming pool, a ranch style home, a large garden, friendly neighbors, crime free streets, neighborhood kids to play with, hills to sled down, trails to ride bike on...everything was perfect. He chose that home. That was his decision. He planted that garden, he tended that yard, he built that addition, he added that pool.

I remember one evening answering a knock at the door. Behind me, in the dining room was my step father. I opened the door and there stood my Dad. He didn't come in, he wasn't going to stay long. He was there to drop off a check. His payment.

I was eight years old.

Nothing made sense.

It was shortly before I met RLB that I heard this song for the first time. It ripped me apart...still does.

Not my husband. No way. Never going to happen. 

I was with my babies in the truck when I first heard this song by the Zac Brown Band. Again, I lost it.  

"Why are you crying, Mom?"
Not my husband. No way. Never going to happen.

"My whole world, it begins and ends with you..."

Ladies, I held these songs, these feelings, and this anguish in my heart when we were fighting though the hardest times in our marriage just a few short years ago.

No one wins...with divorce.

Please, if you're facing adversity, fight to protect and preserve your marriage.


  1. Beautiful, SD.

    God can fix broken marriages. That message gets lost around the sphere sometimes, but I have experienced it and seen it happen.

  2. This is why God hates divorce. It is SO painful for the children, and everyone actually. Nothing makes up for a mommy and daddy. So glad you fought for your marriage. One more victory for the Lord!

  3. Twice in our 27 year marriage we've gone through extremely difficult times, the sort that would have many couples divorcing. It was never an option for us. I wish more people would think that way, because we are so much stronger for having endured through it. God was and is with us through all of it. Would you mind if I add your blog to my blogroll?
    Thank you, Rootietoot

  4. Hi Rootietoot,
    I don't mind a bit, thank you!

    Yep, We're told to persevere through everything in our lives, that committing to it makes us stronger. We're told to not quit on our grades, don't quit sports, don't quit on finding good jobs, don't quit on a rebellious child, but when it comes to marriage the message has been: It's okay to quit. This has got to change.

  5. …..fight to protect and preserve your marriage.


  6. Outstanding, great to read such things. Such sad songs knowing that as sad as they are they cannot convey the visceral pain the men in real life that are portrayed in the videos are feeling.
    Listening to our illustrious president yesterday blathering about fatherlessness and how he wished his father had been around, etc etc....and what heroes the single moms are (a standing ovation erupted) tells me that neither culture nor any societal force, no church or advocacy group with efficacy, none are there to afford succor to the men who make the "highway 20 ride". Meanwhile the whole of those groups stand ready to condemn him. Again.

    1. The President is who he is because he lacked a father. It's sad. His mother did what she did because her father was lacking. Also very sad. I never thought I would see the day a bastard would be President. I still pray for him to fix shit. The truth is self-evident. Hopefully, he can turn things around, personally and in our country. We get the king we deserve.


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