Sunday, December 23, 2012

How he got the girl

Those of you who frequent Alpha Game as I've repeatedly told you to, have already read a lot of Vox Day's advice on how men can attract women. Very important is the advice to not ask a woman:
Women cannot tell men what they find attractive because they do not know themselves.  They only know what is considered socially acceptable to find attractive.  That is why men should not listen to them concerning these matters.  It is important to understand this.  The consequences of not doing so can be brutal.
 I clicked over to the linked blog post, Confessions of a Reformed InCel and read it as if it were written by my son.
My issue was i always believed i was not handsome, rugged or built well enough to attract initial attention. I had poor self image. All the advice to the contrary, telling me I WAS OK AS I WAS allowed me to abdicate my responsibility to start working on that issue. It led me to believe people should like me for who i am, not what my exterior presents. My first cross to bear. Instead of working to fix my skin deep issues and develop a greater sense of self worth, i continued listening to that advice to find one who would appreciate me for my ‘nice‘ qualities instead. This further perpetuated the vicious circle of being constantly friendzoned or rejected outright by women. Being myself was supposed to work but badboys were winning the day. Instead of reading it properly and abandoning the beta to become the badass, i doubled down and started hating badboys and believed that women were just being misguided but they would eventually turn around and come to love the greater qualities of love, nurturing, compassion and empathy i had massive stockpiles and reserves of. I shoved all my chips to the center of the table all in, and became a HUGE white knight Mangina.
...For all intents and purposes i was an evolutionary failure. With so much FAIL, my body began to realize it was not going to fulfill it’s primary biological function of reproduction and had begun to contemplate ways of me to expedite my removal from the gene pool. Death felt like my only answer.

Then I thought of this deluded young man whose thoughts on needing feminism couldn't be more wrong. The lies of feminism are so cruel. There isn't an honest woman alive looking at his picture and reading what he said who had a biological impulse to want him. Is that the plan feminists? Is that how you stick it to the man? Lie and confuse them so desperately that you create an effeminate loser who will never move past the friend zone with a woman? Who will never know the experience of having a woman hot for him? 

This can never be my son! (Solipsism alert) - How ever will we fill that Christmas table with beautiful grandbabies?

As I've said before, I'm not in the habit of giving advice to men. And that includes my son. When it comes to advice on attracting women, no doubt I will leave that up to RLB.

In one of the comments on  How does he rank I mentioned I'd write about how I was courted by him. I'll write it from my perspective alone though RLB and I have talked at length about all the dynamics that were at play.

I was nine-teen and desperate for a fresh start from all of the bad decisions I had been making. I was in college but not excited about it at all. Being a career woman was just not what I had in mind for my life. A friend of mine suggested I go down to where she lived, a huge college town, and start there. I had already been accepted to that college when I was in high school. I didn't go because my mother died my senior year. I knew I was very vulnerable and losing myself in that notorious city was not a good idea at the time. And though I could still care less about my college education, I was running out of money (a small inheritance from my mother's life insurance) and I'd at least be able to provide for myself there better than the minimum wage jobs available where I lived. So I drove down on a one week mission to find a job and an apartment. At that point I'd come back, give my two week notice at work, pack my things, and move.

Three days in I was walking into a dive bar where my friend's sister-in-law worked and I saw him. He was wearing a white collard dress shirt with the top few buttons undone, his tie already removed. He was hot with his, not too long, blond, curly mullet. I thought to myself, "I wonder what it would be like to be married to that guy?" He was sitting next to a woman, laughing, drinking a beer, with a bar trivia console in front of him.

A couple minutes later, I was sitting in front of him. The woman he was with knew my friend and invited us over to their table. The woman introduced herself as RLB's sister. She wasn't, I knew that. That's an old game where you can spend time with the man you're hot for who doesn't want you by telling others you're brother and sister. Eventually when he's in the mood, you'll be the only one around. It's an act of desperation and makes a woman look horribly pathetic. So, ma'am, being that he's your "brother" and all, watch this (women are evil) as the flirting commenced.

We played darts and I flirted, he was very funny, I flirted, he'd tease me, I flirted, he touched me, I melted and flirted. After the bar closed he said he'd drive me back to my friend's house. The thought of saying, "no she's going there anyway, you don't need to go out of your way"...never crossed my mind. What I was thinking was how the hell am I going to control myself. We got into this tiny little sports car where six inches separated us. We talked and made out for a long time in that tiny little car in front of my friend's apartment complex. We made plans for the next day. He told me he'd give me a tour of the campus. He'd call me the next day to give me directions to meet him at his house. 

The next morning I got up early and started primping; every hair in place, the perfect outfit, makeup on, smelled great...nervous as hell. Why hasn't he called? What should I do? Oh, if he doesn't call me I think I'm going to die. Finally, in the mid afternoon, the phone rang. He had just woken up. What?!?  I got to the house he shared with three other guys and a girl and there he was, sitting on the steps. He hadn't showered, he hadn't shaved, and he was wearing crappy jeans, a baseball cap, and a t-shirt.

We walked around the campus for a while and came to a popular gyro restaurant. He asked if I would like to try one. So I preceded to purchase my own gyro. He didn't have his wallet with him. No, he doesn't want one, he's just going to sit across from me watching as I eat one of the sloppiest, no way to eat it ladylike, sauce dripping, lettuce and onions falling all over the place, things I've ever eaten.

It was time for him to go to work. He told me to meet him after work at the Applebee's next to the Red Lobster he works at. Again I was a nervous wreck. While I sat facing him next to the bar, after we'd been there for quite a while, he informed me that his ex-girlfriend is sitting right behind me. "Do you work with a lot of ex-girlfriends?" - "Yeah, a few."

Later that night we went back to his house. I sat down in a chair as he looked through the mail. "Oh, good the new Playboy came in, here (tossing it to me) find the bunny." Then, "It's playmate of the year time, let's pick which one it will be."

You can obviously see a trend here. RLB kept me in this state of a jealous, insecure, tizzy for months. After that first week I was literally sick. I drove home with the worst stomach ache I have ever had in my life. I had been so nervous, excited, and crazy that I couldn't eat right nor could I take care of normal bathroom issues (you understand, TMI) Without the details surrounding them, here are more examples:

-The two of us walk into a bar where his "sister" is sitting, he casually approaches her, bends down and kisses her on the lips.
-As I'm getting ready go back home to pack my things he says, "if you weren't leaving in two weeks, I'd ask for this to be exclusive." To which I replied, "Two weeks? You won't wait for me for two weeks?" He said, "it's not about me." Of course I then went on and on about how into him I was, there was no way I'll be with anyone else, he's all I can think about etc. etc.
-"This girl at work, I don't know what she was wearing but she smelled phenomenal!" 
-While I was back home I went out with some friends. Talked about RLB the whole time. I was a mess, I had to get home to call him. And there, back at home, I sat and waited until after 2:00AM for him to get home from the strip club he went to with a friend. This guy was killing me!
 -While out watching him play darts for his dart league, I look out the window and see his "sister" and another hot blond walking through the parking lot, staring at me, flipping me the bird and other rude gestures. Oh, sorry, SD, that was the girl I was having sex with up until I met you. She's probably a little pissed.

 -  Girl walks in to the bar, he hugs her, gushes on and on about how nice it is to see her and how great she looks, finally comes back to where I'm sitting and glaring at him and says, "You're just mad because she's so pretty." - Now this one was really interesting. It amounted into a huge fight, me driving to my friend's house in a blizzard. Crying my eyes out over what an asshole he was. And proceeding to get my car stuck in the ditch on my way home. I went to a gas station and called RLB, who's sports car was stuck in a parking lot. He had already walked to my apartment and was sleeping in my bed. I asked if he'd come meet me. He fell asleep again and I walked home alone. I was so angry and out of my mind. The next day after we dug our cars out of the snow he took me to the mall to get Christmas decorations. He stopped in front of a jewelry store, looked at me and said, "pick one." My engagement ring. RLB wanted to MARRY ME!

4 comments:

  1. I'm in my late twenties, and swallowed the "red pill" about a year ago. Posts like this frustrate the hell out of me, because I've spent the last ten years of my life as an overly zealous evangelical Christian. And of course part of my indoctrination was that I was supposed to be a supplicating nice guy who was over involved with ministry. You know because the church lacks men, and women want men who are involved in church...

    Of course I wasn't finding much success with the women I chose to pursue due to my lack of masculinity.

    And so here I am in my late twenties absolutely pissed that I was mislead by the church who claims primacy in all things, yet is completely and utterly wrong. I've spent ten years pursuing a failed mating strategy that was "Godly", only to realize it is bullshit. And the wasted investment is ever on my mind. Robbed of my twenties as a time to develop my own masculine identity, my physical/emotional/mental strength, my career, my interests, my relationships. Wasted spending 10-15 hours a week in "ministry".

    Of course it's my own fault, of course I have baggage and issues I needed to deal with. Yet at the same time the church has no issue telling young men how to live their lives, and of course the church has no issue with making unreasonable demands. Or telling young men how much God is pleased with them for doing the right thing. The church is destroying the lives young men. It takes those without a strong sense of masculinity and ensures that they never develop one. In fact it only magnifies/develops "nice guy" behavior where it already exists/did not exist before.

    When I swallowed the red pill regarding relationships, I also swallowed another regarding faith. I had come to the realization that my needs matter, and the church doesn't give a shit about them. That the agenda matters more than the emotional/psychological/physical well being of the people involved. And that God doesn't meet needs, either we seek them out pragmatically, or we dick around in a state of spiritual passivity hoping and praying that God does something that He will never do.

    So at the end of the day I certainly have hope, because I have the tools I need to grow/develop/ and eventually have a healthy relationship. However I don't know if I'll ever trust a church ever again, or ever believe that God matters/has any involvement in my life. As far as I can tell, whatever happens is up to me - if I want a successful relationship I better be as red pill as I can be. And so on.

    Why do I write all this? Well to vent of course. But to simply point out that your husband was alpha as hell, and he won you over by being an aloof asshole. No church will ever admit it though, or really teach young men what they need to be taught.

    Thanks for letting me rant, and thanks for sharing.

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  2. Perhaps the similarities to m3s post are uncanny. The main difference is that I was voluntarily celebate. However I experienced and still experience the same emotions/stupid advice from people/etc.

    I'm livid at the lost investment. How could I have been so foolish? How could the church be so wrong?

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  3. Anonymous, the church may have had (and may still have) it wrong, but that doesn't mean God did, or that God doesn't matter or have any involvement in your life. Don't compound the mistake of having the church as your guide by substituting yourself as your guide. Make Him and His Word your authority -- not the church and not yourself. Whether you're aware of it or not, and whether you acknowledge it or not, God remains sovereign over every aspect of your life, including of course your relationships. Your choice is to cooperate with His program or to fight it. Either way, it's still going to be His program.

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  4. I couldn't agree more David. Anon, keep in mind the church doesn't necessarily mean the traditional denominations that we grew up with. The church includes this conversation right here.

    On a separate note, as it relates to my being alpha, how I got the girl was 20 years ago. Alpha, back then, meant you were a frat boy. I plan on putting together my mentality at the time in a future post. I still am not sure I understand what my mentality was. I know I hadn't swallowed the red pill of understanding feminism. However, I was quite observant about experimental results. My goal was marriage. I will get into it in the future.

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