It started as a one night stand and turned into friends with benefits. Twenty-one years ago when RLB was in college. He had been recovering from a harsh break-up with his first love. The break-up was to a girl who was a virgin when he met her. Catholic upbringing, smart, and what RLB had thought should be his wife. That experience taught him his first lesson in the cruel nature of women. She cheated on him, toyed with him, and enjoyed a long period of time that he remained her Beta orbiter. Until he had enough. To ensure it would be over, RLB had sex with her sister. Yeah, that did the trick.
Back to the friends with benefits. She got pregnant. What the break-up taught him of the nature of women was nothing compared to what he was about to learn.
RLB wanted his baby. He wanted to raise his baby with or without her. He started giving her every option he could. He offered to marry her. No. He offered to pay for everything and raise the baby jointly. No. He offered to pay for everything and have her sign over legal rights to the baby. No
He had talked to his family. They were supportive and told him they would help in anyway they could. They even talked with a barren couple they knew who would adopt the baby. He presented that to the girl. Again, no. "What about adopting the baby to someone we don't know, through an agency?"
"Please, don't kill my baby."
Too bad. My body, my choice, my rights, me, me, me, me, me...
RLB went into a tailspin of bad decisions and bad behavior after that. He quit college for a couple of years and did whatever he could to drown out the pain and the failure.
Not long ago, we came across her profile on a social networking site. Simultaneously we starting looking through her pictures, hoping to come across a twenty-one-year old man or woman in any of them that might be....
Again we're faced with the reality that it will take Heaven to meet RLB's child. We look forward to it. There are two more there as well. We miscarried twins eight years ago. While that was painful, the pain is a sad longing and an understanding we just do not have. Very different than the helpless horror of choice.
I would love RLB's child. From experience, he has great kids. Blessings to all who meet them. His first would have been no exception.
There are several wounded. Our children, especially the oldest, were so sad to hear they could have had an older brother or sister.
In talking about it all again, when I told RLB I wanted to write his story, it was visibly evident the wounds haven't healed completely. He didn't speak about her. The struggle that remains is within himself. The natural guilt and remorse a man experiences when he was helpless to save his own child.