Monday, November 19, 2012

A letter written by no man...ever

Dear newspaper marriage expert,
     My marriage is in shambles and I don't know what to do. I feel so unnecessary and alone. My wife woke up before me today and had coffee and breakfast waiting for me when I got up. Talk about making me feel guilty. When I was leaving for work she handed me a cooler that had my favorite sandwich, a chocolate bar and a note that said, "I believe in you." That's all it said. What's that supposed to mean?
     I had a hectic day at work. The traffic on the way home was ridiculous. I got home and could smell roast beef in the slow cooker as soon as I walked through the door. What is she doing? She knows it was my turn to cook today. The house was tidy and all of my chores were done. She came to greet me with a smile and a kiss wearing a low cut blouse and tight jeans. Her hair and makeup were done and she smelled really good. I immediately started getting worried. Something is really wrong.
     I was anxious to hear all about her exhausting day and she said nothing. I asked where the kids were and she told me they were in their bedrooms playing quietly. And then she left to go check on them.
     I sat down in the living room with thoughts racing through my mind. This has got to be some sort of set up. I guess I didn't realize how tired I was because the next thing I knew she was waking me up to let me know dinner was ready. It was delicious. Great, I thought, now she's trying to show me up by learning how to cook better than I do.
     This was the strangest thing. After she got the children settled into bed she came into the bathroom while I was taking a shower and completely betrayed my need for privacy by undressing and joining me. I don't even want to write how she seduced me. I feel so used.
     This was not the arrangement we had agreed upon. How long should I let this go on?
Signed,
Concerned Husband

2 comments:

  1. Hahaha,what a wreck of a marriage. Call a lawyer now!!!

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.