Submission is the very act it takes to profess and confirm Christian faith. The enemy will do whatever it takes to keep us acting like defiant children. Children disobey due to lack of understanding or willful disobedience. As parents we discipline (train) our children to be obedient and yield to our authority. When they do obey us, what do we as parents do?
Just as there is no qualifier for wives to respect their husbands. There is also no qualifier for wives to submit to their husbands. Nowhere does God say, "submit to your husbands unless..." If this command conjures up negative emotions because the definition of the word "submit" is confused, why not reject the One who is making the command? How much easier is it to be defiant than to recognize deception?
The word submit means to yield, to defer to.
In all successful organizations, there is a decision maker. The final decision maker takes on the responsibilities of his decisions. Subordinates who willfully defy the decision maker subject themselves to the consequences of that defiance. Those consequences don't always come from the decision maker himself. If a student defies his teacher, isn't it the principal who delivers the consequences? If your child defies you, steals your car, gets drunk, and crashes the car, do you even have authority over the consequences that child will endure? No, you do not. In some instances you, the parent/decision maker, will also suffer consequences due to your being the responsible party.
I hope you are following the correlation I'm making here.
Being in submission does not mean the individual no longer has to think, quite the contrary. It requires a great amount of conscientious thought and discernment. Many times the contributions of a wife are necessary in order for a husband to make a decision. Similar to a CEO of a company, there are times a man would be a fool to not consider input from the purchasing agent, treasurer, secretary, human resources director etc. of the household. God is very clear about what he thinks of fools too.
A wife's deference to her husband exemplifies great strength and a peaceful disposition. It would be easy for me to fill pages on the benefits that have been derived in our household due to proper vertical alignment. Nothing will convince you, though, until you are ready to correlate the challenges you are facing in life with the defiance within your heart. And, once you come to understand that the blue print for harmony is well laid out before you. You see it everywhere. It's a pattern by which all successful entities operate. And, just as gravity, your denial of it will prove its existence.
F = Gm1m2/r2
I have to disagree with what you are saying. I know you probably will not believe this but I have a great marriage and we have NEVER played this game of submission. We mutually respect on another and mutually submit to each other (which is the verse just before 'wives submit to your husbands'). God wants both of us to yeild to each other. If you have a vertical alignment, it becomes about power and you can lose intimacy... because marriage is not about power or someone being "above" the other. I know you you will probably say, "what about when your husband and you disagree, someone has to make a decision?" If my husband and I are at an impass about a MAJOR decision, we don't make one. we wait until we can agree on what to do. Period. I am sure that you will probably conclude that i have been deceived in believing that I have a good marriage, due to the fact that we do not have "proper vertical alignment" but you you would be dead wrong.
ReplyDeleteYou may very well have a good marriage. I can't possibly be the judge of that.
ReplyDeleteEphesians 5:21 does state to submit yourselves one to another. Did God make a mistake with Ephesians 5:22-24?
For curiosity's sake, what do you advocate she do if submission to her husband requires her to ocntradict other Christian imperatives?
ReplyDeleteAlso, what if he's being abusive? I'm not in any way implying that most men are, but some are, so in such a case, what would you advocate?
You have a cross. Deal with it, and pray for him.
DeleteDivorce is not and will not be an answer. And I'm one with one -- it hurt as much or more than what was happening that led to it.
Martel,
ReplyDelete1 Peter 3 says the following: Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
God specifically talks about the husband who does not believe the Word. He has a plan for that. Your faith and belief in God's Word is imperative. Trust in God to fulfill what He promises while you faithfully follow His commands. He states "they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives." It would be crucial in these circumstances to remain quiet and overcome the desire to instruct or judge your husband verbally.
What qualifies as abuse in our society today has become quite subjective. I'm going to answer with the assumption you are speaking of the rare, unprovoked, physical harm committed by a rage filled individual. My suggestion would be for her to go to her father. If her father is deceased, then an adult male Christian in her family (brother, uncle), after that a trusted Christian Pastor or Priest in her community.
Just so we're clear, your examples are of hypothetical Christian women who have professed Christ as their Savior and seek to live according to God's Commands, correct? There's no way for me suggest what a nonbeliever should do. Their decisions to that point have been made on subjective morals, I have no way of knowing how they make decisions on anything, much less their relationship with their husbands.
Thanx for the input.
ReplyDeleteFollowing up on my comment to Kathy, Ephesians 5:21 according to many translations is only part of the full sentence:
ReplyDelete18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;
19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;
20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Notice the semicolon that separates verse 20 and 21. Notice as well that verse 21 ends with a period. This was part of God's instruction through Paul to all Christians of Ephesus. "Submit yourselves one to another in the fear of God" applies to men and women in life outside of their marriages - the pattern I spoke about that should be a visual example for the institution of marriage. A clear distinction is made for the marriage relationship starting in verse 22.
In no way did God make a mistake.
Sorry, no semicolon in my translation. I got the period and it makes complete sense to me that his is following verse 21 with 22 and on... laying out what that looks like. That aside, I am so bothered by you and how you come across. You seem judgmental, critical, think you know it all, and use scripture as a weapon (to shut people up and be right). Those qualities are anything but Jesus like to me. I can have conversations with lots of people who see things differently than I do but with you, there is no conversation and no respect. I will not be reading you blog any longer.
ReplyDeleteYour insult: "think you know it all, and use scripture as a weapon (to shut people up and be right)"
DeleteThe Bible: "For the word of God is alive and exerts powers and is sharper than any two edged sword and pierces even to the dividing of soul and spirit, and of joints and (their) marrow, and (is) able to discern thoughts and intentions of (the ) heart."
Can't stop laughing.
I'm surprised you've read it in the first place. It is only slightly amusing that you would be bothered by me, a complete stranger on the internet. How sad for you.
ReplyDeleteI was not having a conversation with you, dear. You came onto my blog, built up a strawman and tore it down. Meanwhile failing to answer the question if God made a mistake in his specific instructions to women - mentioned more than once in the Bible.
You have shown yourself to be an assumptive fool that responds irrationally to anything that doesn't fit with the way you've chosen to live your life. Of course you do not have my respect. I don't know you and you've done nothing to indicate you're respect worthy.
In all honesty, I am the one that introduced Kathy to your Blog. So, as a compete stranger to you SD, yes, but to me, a friend. I submit the following blog writing, (because this person has already said what I want to type, i'll just steal it from her; and i do not know this blogger.) This is not to inflame but to hopefully show a bigger picture of the Gospel in relation to Feminism, etc.
ReplyDeleteRespectfully,
Nicole
http://vickybeeching.com/blog/christian-feminism-is-not-an-oxymoron/
Ah yes - infamous practicing lesbian Vicky Beeching. We're supposed to take her opinion on Christ seriously? lol
DeleteThank you, Nicole.
ReplyDeleteI'll take a look after the holiday.
*note to anyone reading: this is how you properly present something that may be opposed to what I have written. Hand waving and spinning a tizzy will only draw my laughter. I certainly won't take you seriously.
you've been a big joke over here for a while. We can all laugh at each other.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure where "over here" is.
ReplyDeleteIt pleases me greatly to know what I say is unapproved of by the very people that represent what I am against.
Carry on little anklebiter.
"You seem judgmental, critical, think you know it all, and
ReplyDeleteuse scripture as a weapon (to shut people up and be right).
Those qualities are anything but Jesus like to me."
Then you need to go look up some of the things that Jesus said. He was rather offensive to many who believed the lies of His time.
You know a person has no way to argue against Biblical submission of a wife when the first thing they do is bring up abuse and orders that would be sinful for a wife to follow. It goes without saying that these are exceptions and a pure straw-man for people who haven't applied any brain power to thinking about what Biblical submission of a wife looks like.
Jesus was kind, loving, and not at all offensive---remember how Pilate washed his hands? Only to the religiously conceited was he offensive.
ReplyDeleteWe are to be the light of the world, the salt that enhances life. Truth is, for centuries many have used biblical submission to oppress others--and has caused the abuse of many women. As a Christian clinical therapist--in the church and the community--I can attest that domestic violence and abuse are not exceptional behaviors. The commonality is profound---especially in the Church or other religious institutions. Studies have found that where ideologies like that of women (or any group for that matter) is considered beneath men (or any other group for that matter) there are tendencies of oppressive and repressive behaviors in both groups. This occurs in homes, churches, societies, and even nations.
Regarding 'biblical submission' I find throughout the scriptures that submission is overtly mutual. There are distinctive roles and unique qualities that each gender (or individual) brings into the marriage union which essentially completes the circle--the mutual circle of harmony and love. Those who reject the biblical hierarchical view and embrace biblical equality and mutuality tend to hold that biblical hierarchy is a result of the curse, not part of the creative order. It was a mutual rebellion against God's commandment and which resulted the curse of hierarchy and subsequent gender war. However in contrast, many others embrace female submission to male headship (reject biblical equality/mutuality) often interprets the fall as Eve’s rebellion against God's creative order, thus women have been cursed to be discontent under the God-given male headship.
Interestingly, Jesus didn't even address the oppression of women and overt inequality of his day (or the corruption of the temple, or oppression of the Roman Empire, or the myriad of other social ills). Instead he lived and walked among women and men, equally. He demonstrated equal access to the Word as with Mary sitting at his feet, a place reserved for men only. He had women in his inner circle and part of ministry. He even blessed the children. His behavior was completely radical for his day and age. On the side, the fact he came through a woman and as an infant, to live as a man reveals that God Incarnate touches all of humanity, equally. The early Church was condemned for being filled with women and the outcasts of society. Jesus came for those who are outside the religiously conceited. I pray to never be aligned with the religiously conceited.
The triune God exists in community in mutuality. God is both feminine and masculine. God’s salvation is for all----the gifts of the Spirit are for all for the edification of the Church. And the Church should be the very first place of liberation for anyone oppressed by others. But the historically deep-rooted patriarchal social constructs managed to hijack the liberties Jesus himself brought to humanity. Sadly, patriarchy has been effectively restored in the name of ‘biblical womanhood’ and now this gender war has entered the western church and is ripping us apart.
God help us.
Miss Jones, WOW!! You are a blessing!
Delete"Jesus was kind, loving, and not at all offensive---remember how Pilate washed his hands? Only to the religiously conceited was he offensive."
DeleteFALSE. There were occasions where He was quite offensive to His own disciples.
Umm... was "Get thee behind me Satan" state to Peter "offensive"?
The definition of "rebuke" is:
"an expression of sharp disapproval or criticism."
How about this one?
When the disciples James and John saw this, they asked, “Lord, do You want us to call fire down from Heaven to destroy them [even as Elijah did]?” But Jesus turned and rebuked them. And He said, “You do not know what kind of spirit you are of, for the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives, but to save them.” [Luke 9.54-55]
Or this one:
So, as Jesus said, “Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with Me.” [Revelation 3.19-20]
http://www.holyspiritsworkshop.com/the-eight-rebukes-of-jesus/
How about "Of you of little faith"? Would that make you feel GOOD if the Son of God asked you that? Jesus told Martha she should be more like her sister. Sisters never get offended at being compared to one another, do they? Geez. Read the Bible, people.
Thus said the religiously conceited. Another denier of Ephesians 5:22 and 1Peter 3:1. Oh, how Satan must laugh.
ReplyDeleteYour diatribe is fallacious and your use of scare quotes revealing.
Hmmm..seems like another denier of Romans 12:18.
DeleteI can't live at peace with Hitler or feminists. I tried. God said, "no". Wow, that was tough. What else ya got?
DeleteTo those that struggle with what is meant by submission, (theological context) then you are going to really have a time with comprehending the days of Noah. One form of deception is one thing. Another, will be fatal beyond imagination. Time to get your stuff together. The Body of Christ is in a slumber, beyond recognition. Time to awaken. One does not know the timetable. Not smart to trifle with the Creator...
ReplyDeleteWow, that sounds like I should be scared. I'm not feeling it, friend. I am so excited with anticipation...like a bride awaiting for her bridegroom. Meanwhile I am doing all I can to show forth Jesus in all I do. My heart hurts for those who hurt. My soul grieves to see others who are so caught in their blinding sin it keeps them from seeing God. And I truly ache for every victim I meet; insomuch I walk with them and help them through the hard times. Submission is not the issue, it's faith. Just as faith was the issue in the days of Noah.
DeleteThe comments that are in response to this thread are interesting. I think first of all (and when I have time) I need to define Feminism. Maybe, just maybe we are all speaking of different definitions of Feminism? Yes, there is the subgroup that wants to wipe out men etc. (which I do not agree with) and there are SEVERAL subgroups of feminism. But the basic premise and the one that i think Jesus taught and one that I adhere to is equality, economic, opportunity, spiritual. I understand theological submission and I do practice it (although NOT flawlessly, trust me.) But I know that when I have a conversation and when talking about such a broad topic as feminism and not pinpointing the operating definition of the conversation the viewpoints can be skewed and possibly misinterpreted. This is the beauty and the curse of coming at a controversial topic from differing viewpoints, professionally, culturally, spiritually, etc. The beauty is seeing the different perspectives and how they may apply to the specific definition although the curse is that we all might not know the operation definition of the topic and that is what can lead to frustration. (i hope this makes sense, I do not have the ability to sit and process my thoughts eloquently with out interruption.)
ReplyDeleteI understand theological submission and I do practice it (although NOT flawlessly, trust me.)
ReplyDeleteWhat is "theological submission"? Does it mean that the wife is to submit to the husband inside the church, family, home but not necessarily to men in the outside world?
Physphilmusic I am not sure what you mean? please clarify.
ReplyDeleteHa, Silly me, there is probably no such thing as Theological Submission (as a formal term) I suppose I should say Christian Submission. This article sums it up quite nicely. http://www.africanaquatics.co.za/_christian/_articles/submission.htm
ReplyDeleteAfter reading that link, I think I am quite satisfied with the handling of Ephesians 5:22-24:
ReplyDeleteNevertheless, wives are to submit to their husbands … as unto the Lord…. in …everything. And that doesn’t mean only when the husband behaves himself, or when you feel like it…. As you serve the Lord by doing everything unto Him, to His glory, so you submit to your husband. And remember our definition of submit? That includes your support and co-operation.
That being said, this just makes me wonder more why you speak favorably of feminism. The problem with feminism isn't just with the extreme radical feminists who "want to wipe out men", it's with the very foundation and premises of feminism. For example, "equality of opportunity" is well and good, but that has more often than not been manipulated to mean "equality of outcome".
"Hmmm..seems like another denier of Romans 12:18." - Anon
ReplyDeleteDear ones, a wife in denial of Ephesians 5:22 and 1Peter 3:1 is not living in peace with her husband.
You entered into a covenant with God and with your husbands. Is there anyone more important to live in peace with?
What is the opposite of submit? Answer honestly.
Shall we, just for fun, review all that is said about a wife who lives in rebellion?
Proverbs 25:24 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Proverbs 21:19 Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.
Proverbs 21:9 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Proverbs 19:13 A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife's quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.
Proverbs 12:4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 27:15-16 A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one's right hand.
The more you ladies reject this very straight forward and simple command, the more you reveal the condition of your households. You've been deceived. Not unlike Eve.
The funny thing is that you have decided that feminism is incompatible with submission and I fundamentally disagree. I can agree that submissionis cooperation and my husband is very happy with my level of cooperation. I respect him VERY much, because he had earned my respect by lifting up people who aren't as privileged. He uses his power to seek equality for others not to oppress them further. I'm sure your husband does the same for you. We just happen to disagree as to the causes of the problem in our society. I see feminism as seeking, although imperfectly, to right wrongs and you seem to blame feminism for most societal evils. If society had been a utopia before the rise of feminism, you might have had a better chance of convincing me, but your revisionist history does your cause no favors. Since you hate the phrase "agree to disagree" , I will just agree to not be disagreeable. Grace & peace to you and your family.
DeleteIt's not funny and hardly something I alone have decided.
DeleteI've already written a post addressing what you have said: "because he had earned my respect," here.
The motivation behind wives' submission to their husbands was addressed by God. He did not follow the command with an "if," he followed it with an "as": "as unto the Lord." Indicating that there is nothing a husband does or does not do required for a wife's obedience of the command.
Surely you would agree only a petulant child or wayward Christian would dare tell God what He must do in order to earn their obedience.
1Peter 3:6 addresses how women should respond to the wrongs of society (not afraid with any amazement). Feminism was spawned and survives off of women's fear.
Romans Chapter 12
Delete18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
I don't understand how this apply to this???
//"Hmmm..seems like another denier of Romans 12:18." - Anon//
[T]here are SEVERAL subgroups of feminism. But the basic premise and the one that i think Jesus taught and one that I adhere to is equality, economic, opportunity, spiritual.--BF @11/22/12
ReplyDeleteJesus taught submission to lawful authority, just as He was submissive to the will of His Father. This lack of independent will does not make Jesus inferior to God--indeed, they are ontologically equal.
Being subordinate does not imply inferiority. Both man and woman are made in the image of God and so share in one nature, which puts husband and wife on the same spiritually level. A wife is no less spiritual for placing her self in subjection to her husband than the man who places himself in subjection to God. Indeed, it is this very subjection that defines the spiritual wholeness Jesus commands and perfectly demonstrated.
Clearly, the Bible does not offer the same opportunities to men and women. Women are not to be chosen as church officers (bishops, pastors, elders) and they are forbidden to usurp authority over a man, which is to say they should learn in silence with all subjection (1 Timothy 2:11).
As such, men and women have different economic (or operational) functions, so the "basic premise" or working definition of feminism you offer is theologically flawed.
Well said. I assume no superiority to my wife spiritually. I know my role. That means being the decision maker. I value her opinion much more than feminist men do. I just don't blame her when TSHTF. That is my responsibility.
ReplyDeleteI didn't say he HAD to earn my respect, only that he has. I'm sure you would agree that it is better to be married to a man worthy of respect than one who isn't, unless you're trying to say that women are also incapable of understanding respect along with honor. You seem to have an exceptionally low view of women. What do you see as our strong points or will that not be discussed on this blog?
ReplyDeleteGod does not distinguish the worthiness of a husband to receive respect. He is very clear about this in several areas of the Bible. Your subjective opinion of the worthiness of respect is meaningless. It is not for you or I to even speak about the works of a husband that are worthy of respect. Just as your works will never earn you your salvation.
ReplyDeleteI don't presume to know who any women would be better off married to. I know the man I entered into a covenant with is the man God has commanded me to submit to and respect. I have no fear that I chose poorly because it is not in my husband's works that I trust.
I'm quite confident you can find thousands of blogs lauding women (who chose to live life outside of God's commands) if that is what you need to read.
What you have missed in reading my blog are all of the women I have spoken highly of including the very one the blog is named after. It's unfortunate but not surprising.
Apparently, your husband is not an ass hole so that makes it much easier to say that you trust in the Lord when it comes to submission. However, if he was an ass hole and put you down, hit you, even raped you, I think your perspective might change and it would be harder to have the unconditional respect that you have for him now
DeleteThere is no way for me to address what has been easier for me than for anyone else. If faith were easy...
ReplyDeleteYou fool yourself, putting God in a little box and convincing yourself He didn't know what his creation would be capable of. His Word has story after story letting us know He is well aware.
That is the ultimate issue isn't it? We want a God made in our image instead of the One that is there.
DeleteLiked your anklebiters reference.
One thing I think that many people don't realize in this post-modern world is that husbands (or LTR boyfriends) desire not love but respect from their wives (or LTR girlfriends). Being submissive to ones husband is about respect.
ReplyDeleteIf my wife respects me, love follows. Love works differently in women than it does in men.
ReplyDeletePretty sure that the husbands command to love his wife is not conditional on her respect.... it doesn't say, "love her IF...."
DeleteI agree that love isn't conditional. The question is, what is love. I'm not going 90's dance music here. I mean love, according to God, which often includes discipline. We aren't talking Disney's happily ever after type of love. Real love. The type that will say that thing you don't want to, as a husband, because you know your wife will be pissed. But after you pray about it, you know you need to say it anyway. She needs to hear it and you need to be strong about it. Scary indeed. That requires faith.
DeleteLove is about bringing up the hard stuff.. esp. when you know your spouse might not react well. I am assuming that what you are describing (love and discipline) goes both ways and that sometimes your wife has to administer that same type of disciple toward you as well?
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI see "not reading my blog" any longer was an empty threat.
DeleteI highly recommend reading some analysis of your second comment
here. It won't be easy, I know, but many times the truth isn't.
All,
DeleteI wasn't clear in my previous comment. I meant that if my wife respects the love will follow from her. Not from me. I think that is why Paul tells wives to honor their husbands instead of telling them to love their husbands.
Ladies, can you love a man you have no respect or honor for?
That does make it more clear.
DeleteYou're right and it's an awesome phenomenon. I've slowed down and analyzed the process I go through. It happened just this morning.
Our son needs 50 hours behind the wheel before he can take his driver's test. I was taking him to school this morning and RLB told me to have him drive. Wait, this is kind of a long story and should be it's own post...
"If my wife respects me, love follows. Love works differently in women than it does in men."
DeleteI'm not sure I entirely agree. I'd argue that love and respect are two completely different things. You can respect someone you hate (an accomplished enemy or rival) and yes, you CAN love someone you don't respect (a friend or family member who's made bad choices in life.)
I'd also argue that respect IS earned. You can't *make* yourself respect someone. Sure, you can go through the motions. You can defer to someone's position of authority and do what you're told but not have any real respect for the individual. I'm sure many of us have had a boss like that at one point or another.
So I guess my question is...are actions (going through the motions) more or less important than the actual, genuine respect we have for someone who has earned it?
This was awesome. I think that it is hysterical that anyone would claim to read the Bible AND claim that Jesus never offended anyone! Thank you Miss Jones, I needed a laugh today but you seriously need a lesson in reading comprehension.
ReplyDeleteAs for Kathy, your personal experience has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on what the Word of God says. Take SD out of this completely and please tell us where in the Word of God is says you don't have to obey Him if it works for you?
Thanks, I will check back.
So many "Christina" women unwilling to submit to their husband. I guess that explains the divorce rate.
ReplyDeleteNice post, SD.
Thank you, Lucas.
ReplyDeleteLucas, my heart aches looking through the pictures of your blog. Though I can't read a word, I know you are fighting the good fight. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog. My idea about the word "submission" is definitely as you state it as being completely changed in definition. It is as if people view it as a dog and its master. Women are not submitting in a way where a master gives a stern voice and the dog bows. Quite the opposite. There are things men are better at than women and vise versa. Most of the things men are good at are things they love to do. For example: I'd say most men love to work hard and provide a roof for their loved ones. As women, we love to make a house a home with personal touches. Men don't mind getting dirty which is why we see more men outside working in construction in the heat. What people misunderstand is that when they say submission is bad, they immediately think of abuse. We are talking, rather, of a Godly man and the wife will soon follow him. If a man is not Godly, the woman becomes completely screwed up. There are roles for men and women and we naturally fall into them if letting go of he resistance happens. It seems like the more people fight it, the more unhappy they seem because people in this society make it uncool to be what you are.
ReplyDeleteThank you Lyndsey!
ReplyDeleteSo true. It's so sad all of the happiness that is missed out on because of the resistance.
"If my wife respects me, love follows. Love works differently in women than it does in men."
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I entirely agree. I'd argue that love and respect are two completely different things. You can respect someone you hate (an accomplished enemy or rival) and yes, you CAN love someone you don't respect (a friend or family member who's made bad choices in life.)
I'd also argue that respect IS earned. You can't *make* yourself respect someone. Sure, you can go through the motions. You can defer to someone's position of authority and do what you're told but not have any real respect for the individual. I'm sure many of us have had a boss like that at one point or another.
So I guess my question is...are actions (going through the motions) more or less important than the actual, genuine respect we have for someone who has earned it? - Northwoods
Yes, love and respect are two completely different things. Biblical love also has four distinct categories. The command for men to love their wives is Agape. Very different than Eros and does not always conjure up loving feelings in a wife, immediately.
And yes, you can respect someone you do not love. See the biblical story of Esther.
We can go round and round about respect being earned. It's not in many instances. In the Military, one respects the rank and thus respects the authority of the person wearing the rank. In a Christian marriage, the "rank" of the husband is that of Head of the wife.
What you may not be understanding is the power there is in a wife going through the motions even when it is just actions and not something that flows from her heart initially. Again, the story of Esther comes to mind. God saw her following His commands to respect her husband, the king (even having been brought to him as a sex slave). That submission saved her people. The king was changed.
Yes, the actions are what is commanded of us. The heart follows when we do it as unto the Lord. I can't stress enough that I am speaking to individuals who have proclaimed Jesus Christ as their Savior and desire to follow God's commands. This is not advice I would give to non Christians. As I've said, I don't advise non Christians about anything because everything they've done to that point has been based on a subjective morality. I believe God is powerful enough to bless even the non believer when they unknowingly follow his commands however with respect/submission their behavior will not be as unto the Lord.
Ok, I read as much as I could...regarding submission, my pastor explained it thusly:
ReplyDeleteA marriage is not a General (the man) and a Private (the woman), where the man orders and the woman obeys unconditionally. Instead it is more like a Colonel and a Lt Colonel, where the man has the authority given to him by the General (Christ),and trusts the woman to make decisions on his behalf, but deferring to him when necessary. It's the TRUST that is implicit here. I submit to my husband because he is a wise and godly man and I trust him. He allows me decision making, because he trusts me to make a sensible decisions and knows I will consult him when necessary. He also consults me and wants my opinion and input on decisions, as he trusts my wisdom. we both pray and consult God. It's not complicated, nor is it denigrating to either of us. In any relationship, SOMEONE has to have the final say when there is a disagreement. Since Christ is the head of my husband, who is the head of the household, then obviously he should have the final say. To me, it's a no-brainer.
If what you've stated above is indeed what your pastor is preaching, it is unbiblical.
ReplyDelete"I submit to my husband because he is a wise and godly man and I trust him."
This is unbiblical.
I will be working on a post about this today. Considering this is the primary theme of my blog, it is something that should be revisited for new readers.
I would appreciate reading what you have to say about this. In what way is it unbiblical?
ReplyDelete