Don't lie.
This Belgian man is seeking divorce after discovering his wife of 19 years was born male:
"I pushed her against the wall and said: Now I know the truth. Are you a man? She then announced that she was born as a boy and that she had been operated on. She was now a woman, and so she did not need to tell me about her past as a man. My world collapsed. That evening came to blows. The police came."
Perhaps an extreme example.
Another man has left his wife of 40 years after learning she, who had claimed to only have had one sex partner previous to him, was lying all these years:
We had two children and a very happy and successful marriage. But a few weeks ago, an old friend contacted me over the internet, and I invited her round. My husband left us to talk and went off to the garden. Inevitably we talked of the past. After she left, I found my husband looking devastated. He said he’d gone into the conservatory to read and heard everything.There was an excellent discussion about this over at Alpha Game: When the pedestal collapses
He said he felt utterly betrayed, as he had a right to expect honesty, but our entire marriage had been based on a fundamental lie. I said we’d had a wonderful 40 years, so what could it matter what I did before I met him? He moved in to the spare room and avoided me. A week later he moved to a bedsit and told me he wanted a divorce.
It is not a secret that respect is essential to a man in his relationships. Nothing shows a lack of respect more than deception.
Why do women lie? Because, like children, our minds focus only on ourselves and what we want. Any justification will do to avoid the consequences due to us because of our bad behavior. "I didn't want to hurt him," is a lie. Those who say it have only learned some grown up language (and manipulation) but still remain children that are actually saying, "I didn't want to get in trouble."
We need to stop fooling ourselves, the more a lie is attempted to be justified with excuses, the more childish and disgusting we women appear. Try this with sincerity instead: "I did ____, I'm sorry. Please forgive me." And then wait for him to process it. If he has any questions, answer them honestly. We need to choose to rise above our natural inclinations to self preserve and take the steps to grow in our maturity. Mature individuals accept consequences for their behavior. The bond between husbands and wives can only be realized by mature individuals.
I think it is also very telling that women see no reason to think that what happened in the past should matter to a man. In each of those cases the 'woman' (termed loosely for the one who was born with a Y-chromosome) thought "and so she did not need to tell me about her past as a man" and "so what could it matter what I did before I met him?".
ReplyDeleteBut what is interesting is that they tell men that their past doesn't matter, yet lie or intentionally cover it up, which proves that they know that their past does matter.
Hello Sarah's Daughter!
ReplyDeleteI was just taking a look at your blog and think you have some great stuff. I have also long read your comments on Vox Day and Alpha Game. Would you be willing to give me a quick interview on my radio show The Homeschool Homemaker? Here is a link to my radio show (very humble and small :)
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/the-homeschool-homemaker and my email is TheHomeschoolHomemaker@hotmail.com.
I would love to discuss your blog and a few posts you have up. Thanks so much :)
The Homeschool Homemaker
'woman' (termed loosely for the one who was born with a Y-chromosome) thought "and so she did not need to tell me about her past as a man" - ar10308
ReplyDeleteI know that men can/do lie too, what's curious here is the Y-chromosome's womanly justifications. It makes one wonder if that is one of estrogen's hidden side effects.
For example: Soy -> estrogen -> Asian Cultures -> polite lies ?
Thank you Homeschool Homemaker! I've sent you an email.
ReplyDelete@SD
ReplyDeleteWhy do women lie? Because, like children, our minds focus only on ourselves and what we want. Any justification will do to avoid the consequences due to us because of our bad behavior. "I didn't want to hurt him," is a lie. Those who say it have only learned some grown up language (and manipulation) but still remain children that are actually saying, "I didn't want to get in trouble."
You have a good grasp on the female sin-nature. You should be teaching this to women in church!
@ar10308
But what is interesting is that they tell men that their past doesn't matter, yet lie or intentionally cover it up, which proves that they know that their past does matter.
What would be the reaction had the deceived husband pointed this out? Just imagine.
Incidentally, the husband was within his rights to divorce the woman: the exception to the "no divorce" rule is for fornication -- i.e. where a husband finds that his wife had spread her legs for someone before him and had then lied to him about it. The Christian thing to do would be to send the slut packing back to whoever it was she'd been with. (Just as Joseph was going to do with Mary until the good news was explained to him: his actions would have been absolutely right, had Mary been pregnant by another man.)
And the "agony column" in which the letter appeared was vile. Stop and think of it. A decent man who has been a wonderful husband is devastated on discovering that his wife's a lying slut who built their entire marriage on an act of selfish deceit. And then when he's still heartbroken from this revelation, she goes bleating in self pity to the newspapers. ...So that he's torn to pieces by some shameless, heartless whore hackette on the pages of a national newspaper.
Where's the outrage? Doesn't this bother women any more? Are they really such cold-hearted bitches these days? Does anyone have pity for this man?
I thank God that eternal torment awaits heartless monsters like the "agony aunt". Will you join me in thanking God for His righteous wrath against Satan's own, SD? Sometimes, when evil triumphs and good people are destroyed, only the remembrance of His promised punishment of the wicked brings comfort. ...King David felt the same.