This Belgian man is seeking divorce after discovering his wife of 19 years was born male:
"I pushed her against the wall and said: Now I know the truth. Are you a man? She then announced that she was born as a boy and that she had been operated on. She was now a woman, and so she did not need to tell me about her past as a man. My world collapsed. That evening came to blows. The police came."
Perhaps an extreme example.
Another man has left his wife of 40 years after learning she, who had claimed to only have had one sex partner previous to him, was lying all these years:
We had two children and a very happy and successful marriage. But a few weeks ago, an old friend contacted me over the internet, and I invited her round. My husband left us to talk and went off to the garden. Inevitably we talked of the past. After she left, I found my husband looking devastated. He said he’d gone into the conservatory to read and heard everything.There was an excellent discussion about this over at Alpha Game: When the pedestal collapses
He said he felt utterly betrayed, as he had a right to expect honesty, but our entire marriage had been based on a fundamental lie. I said we’d had a wonderful 40 years, so what could it matter what I did before I met him? He moved in to the spare room and avoided me. A week later he moved to a bedsit and told me he wanted a divorce.
It is not a secret that respect is essential to a man in his relationships. Nothing shows a lack of respect more than deception.
Why do women lie? Because, like children, our minds focus only on ourselves and what we want. Any justification will do to avoid the consequences due to us because of our bad behavior. "I didn't want to hurt him," is a lie. Those who say it have only learned some grown up language (and manipulation) but still remain children that are actually saying, "I didn't want to get in trouble."
We need to stop fooling ourselves, the more a lie is attempted to be justified with excuses, the more childish and disgusting we women appear. Try this with sincerity instead: "I did ____, I'm sorry. Please forgive me." And then wait for him to process it. If he has any questions, answer them honestly. We need to choose to rise above our natural inclinations to self preserve and take the steps to grow in our maturity. Mature individuals accept consequences for their behavior. The bond between husbands and wives can only be realized by mature individuals.