Being an introvert presents difficulties. I am one. I don't like people. I don't like crowds. I don't like going out. I have a very difficult time getting past meeting people. My son is similar. We aren't alone. I'm really good once people get to know me. I have a depth that people like long term. I am not warm and fuzzy. I'm not a sweet, cuddly guy. I piss people off on a regular basis, especially people that I work for. OTOH, those people I work for see my production and love me for it. They just hate my convictions.
Introverts, like myself, need to realize that everyone isn't out to get them. It is very difficult to conceptualize that for an introvert. We anticipate mean, hateful interaction. This expectation isn't because of experience. Experience presents a healthy dose of affirmation. It is the possibility of one negative encounter that makes us hesitate and decide it isn't worth the risk.
I had a great talk with Jr tonight about this. It is the habit of doing the uncomfortable that makes it possible to succeed in life. That applies regardless of being an introvert or extrovert. The introvert has to make an effort to interact with people. It hurts. Extroverts don't understand how difficult this is because it comes natural to them. It's the same in the real world or the internet world. I have very little interest in communicating with people outside of my family. However, as SD pointed out to me, there are those that would appreciate my insights. I will commit to share more for those similar to me and Jr. It might require a question from others, but I will do what I can on my end.
I once told an extrovert that I was exhausted because I'd been to a long family event the day before. He asked, "Oh, you don't like your family?" I had to explain that I like my family plenty, but spending time with people wears me out whether I like them or not. In fact, liking them might make it more tiring, because if I didn't like them, I wouldn't make as much of an effort to be sociable.
ReplyDeleteThat's an excellent point as well. Being married to an extrovert is both good and difficult for me. SD pushes too hard sometimes. I have to let her know when I need down time. The good part, though, is that I don't become a hermit.
DeleteWe joke about when the last time was I left the fifteenth floor. When we lived in South Korea, we lived on the fifteenth floor. Oftentimes on three day weekends, I wouldn't leave the fifteenth floor. I was quite happy with that.
Extroverts.
ReplyDeleteGah!
They Just Don't Get It.
Grumble... grumble...
get off my lawn!