Thursday, October 17, 2013

When a feminist's choice looks eerily similar to biblical marriage

Sunshine Mary's blog has been drawing quite a lot of attention from feminists lately. It's a beautiful thing. One comment in particular struck me. This woman sounds so very much like a lot of women who are being nudged toward Truth. I didn't want to miss the opportunity to request some prayers for her. You can find her comment in full here

I responded with the following break down of how I read her confession:

I am not a Christian and I am a feminist so the religious points that have been made are largely lost on me. That being said I would like to tell you a little of my story.
largely – but not completely. And here I am reading a Christian woman’s blog and compelled to confess. My solipsism gets the best of my feminist intentions. I want to be accepted by your herd, SSM. After all, what’s about to follow would cause all kinds of hand waving and shrieking by the feminist herd.
I was raised by my mother to be a feminist and without the expectation that I would marry. Imagine my surprise when I fell in love and got married. I swore that my marriage would not change me but, it did.
I have an out, just in case I’m wrong, my mother did this to me. The natural order of things happened. Don’t tell the feminists, but men do have a measure of power that changes even the most ardent Strong Independent Woman (TM).
My husband became the center of my life. It was not something he asked of me, nor was it a condition of our marriage, it just happened.
He was different than any of you misogynists. And this was my choice. The women here didn’t choose like I did, way.
I already considered him the love of my life and my best friend, that is why I decided to marry. I did not think our relationship would get better with time but, it did. When my friends, both male and female, expressed displeasure with his ‘influence’ over me, I pointed out that my relationship was my choice and if they didn’t like it, our friendship could end. The vast majority chose to do just that. It was honestly a relief, I was tired of their criticism of my husband’s behavior and our marriage.
While I might not be aware of it, I am realizing the lie of feminism. How come loving my husband and submitting to him isn’t one of the available choices w/in feminist circles. Isn’t my happiness important? This made me happy. I lost friends because of my choice. And I am so very close to the understanding you ladies have come to, when God says “Let no man put asunder,” something happens within a woman – she defends her husband when he gets attacked, it’s a mystery…could God be real?
I was happily married for 5 years until my husband’s death. I never cheated on him. I never contemplated divorce (I am not sure what frivorce means, frivolous divorce?) I preferred to work from home (long story).
Something deep within me, that I can’t explain, wonders if he has everlasting life. Can someone here please show me the way I can see him again? Is there hope?
I also preferred my husband to deal with the outside world while I dealt with the day to day within our home. I was still a feminist, albeit one that had made a very different choice than most.
Though the natural order of things works this is different than you non feminist women who are keepers of the home. I don’t know how it’s different, but it is! Don’t forget, I am a feminist!
Yes I did have partners before him. How many is none of your business. I can say with all honestly that he was ‘it’ for me. Once we were together, he was the only man I wanted and in many ways the only man I could even see.
In truth, none of what I’m saying is your business and I presume too much when I think you care about my story, but you are the only ones who will understand. And, you’re Christian, you’re supposed to care…right? I know I betray my feminist sisters when I keep hidden my sexual experience, I’m supposed to shout it from the roof tops as a Strong Independent Woman (TM), but something within me knows this brings shame to my husband (God rest his soul). Something within me knows it was sin. Something is urging me to repent of that sin so that I may receive God’s grace. Who is it again? That man who takes the burden of my sin?
So, yeah, it is possible. In fact, it is still a problem. I have tried dating since his passing and it has been a disaster. I am just not interested.
Again, it is a mystery. If life were only about the days we live in flesh form, what is this haunting? If there is no God, no Jesus Christ, no Holy Spirit, what could possibly be keeping me bonded to my husband? Don’t tell me it’s Truth, in my world what I choose to be truth is truth. What’s that? Truth is like gravity? And I might be….wrong.


  1. Good catch. Will keep this widow in my prayers. She is not beyond reach.

  2. " If there is no God, no Jesus Christ, no Holy Spirit, what could possibly be keeping me bonded to my husband? Don’t tell me it’s Truth, in my world what I choose to be truth is truth."

    It's called biology.

  3. Congratulations, on your transition from bitter self-hating feminist to loving and happy woman, Congrats and rock on.


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