What do you value? The answer is where you spend your money and time. Be honest about how much you spend on the things in your life. How much do you spend on your car vs.your children's education? How much do you spend on your clothes vs. your gym membership? These are easy questions and easy solutions. Many people fail these simple ones. Don't feel bad if you are one of them. Fix it.
How much time do you spend with your wife vs. your kids? Family vs. work? Wherever you spend more time or money, you value that more than the things you spend less time and money on. It's not hard to understand. It's hard to accept. We all need to make a certain amount of money to provide for our family. The issue is how much money is required to accomplish our goals. More importantly, what are our goals? Why do these goals matter? We are constantly barraged by the consumer mentality so that we become the willing participants in the very system we despise.
It has been very insightful for me to realize that I have options leaving the military. I could move to a big city and buy a nice/large house that I have to work a job for 40-60 hours a week to afford. I could move to a small town and have the same house with more land without working that job. The difference is status. If you are buying crap to impress people you don't care about, you have a status issue.
I have had a very interesting life in making money. I have had a business partner steal a quarter million dollars from me and decided to not sue him. However, I have had an incredible run of financial success since then. God is cool that way. I've lived with and seen how rich people live. I've lived in squalor as well. We had cockroaches all over our newborn son's walls and been horrified. The advantage of having lived such a varied life is that you find out what really matters. The truth is that you can tell what people value based on what they spend their money and time on. Simple, not easy.