I responded with:
I honestly have and will continue to do so. In order to do so, I must remain cognitive about my innate reaction and willfully choose another. This isn't impossible and I suspect there are a few women around these parts who have been able to.
Looks as though I've found one of those women. There is a commenter over at Sunshine Mary's blog, Hannah, who does not have the reaction I've been invited to think through. I've read and reread her comments and believe she is sincere. Her natural reaction to any man remains an enigma to me.
I've read some very angry comments from men on SSM's blog who have 1.) expressed a desire to marry some day 2.) have an understandable frustration for having been raised "Blue Pill" 3.) reject and sneer at attempts from other men to help them become successful in the SMP/MMP.
When I read a comment from a man who expresses the only way he'll marry is when women change their nature I continue to struggle with my reaction. The nature of women has not changed. Our society has accepted the ugliest of women's nature and called it good and acceptable but their nature, their natural tendencies, that which makes them inherently different than men is the same.
I have read many discussions men have had who are upset about the lies they were told. Lies about being nice guys, that women like nice guys. Lies about what they're doing wrong ("it's not you, it's me"), lies about their potential ("LJBF but stay just the way you are, you'll find a woman who is perfect for you").
So when I come across conversations where men (who seek to marry) are displaying the very things that would prevent them from attracting a woman and then see unavailable women giving them positive affirmations and encouragement to continue, I get very confused. Though this woman might be sincere in her charity and friendliness, how does it help a man in his goal to marry a woman to be affirmed in behavior that in real life repels women?
I know there's a balance in here between my immediate repulsion and contributing to the lie with dishonest approval (it would be dishonest coming from me). I've learned that it is not my place to say anything to the men. I do however want to understand the balance so that I may teach my daughters.
Here are some statements from Hannah that give me pause:
Men being wiser than women and all.
Proverbs 9:10 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
Men deserving respect from all women etc.
I agree women should respect men for the inherent qualities the majority posses that are different than the majority of women: their physical strength, logical nature, honor, empathy, etc.
I remain convinced that the icy unapproachable advice is wrong. Women should treat men with respect and kindness. All men.This is referencing they way I believe it is advisable for women to approach unfamiliar places alone. I don't believe it is safe to have an open and approachable demeanor when she is alone and potentially vulnerable. I've also found it to be highly effective to not attract men. As commenter, Deep Strength said: The “bitchy resting face” is funny, but they really don’t understand how unattractive that is… or in fact actually don’t care. I do understand how unattractive it is. That's the point. I teach my daughters discretion on when this is appropriate or not. No, I do not believe that an icy look on my face is the end all to protect me, that's ludicrous. It is an effective first layer of defense.
I'll agree that men are generally more logical and rational than women. I don't find truth in this blanket statement. Duplicity is not exclusive to women.Men are logical rational creatures who God has put in charge they don’t waste their breath with duplicity.
So, it makes sense the woman I've found, who does not have a negative reaction at all to an embittered gamma, is the furthest a woman can be on the other side of the horse from feminism. I'm certainly on the same side of the horse as she is, but there appears to be miles between us. I'm contemplating what I can learn from this. And again, still looking for the balance.