I had another Delta/Beta type breakdown this weekend. My future is quite uncertain. My pain level goes through the roof at certain times. I cried and had a genuine pity party with SD. It happens. Knowing men as I do, this is not uncommon. What is uncommon is having a wife that can handle it.
I also had a typical Alpha friend go off the reservation this weekend. Understanding the nature of our spouse is key to preserving the covenant you committed to. Your marriage isn't just between you and your spouse, if you are a Christian. God is there to be the thing you and your spouse need when you suck. He is the forgiveness and grace that influences you or your spouse in such a way to overlook their or your weakness.
I didn't understand what praying without ceasing was. It took me some time in life to actually understand what that feels like and how it works. When you get it, everything you think and do in life is predicated by thinking about God and His guidance. It isn't verbal. It's constant and reassuring. It's a safety net. He knows you. He knows your rebellion. Accept His knowledge of you and keep talking to Him. You still get to do what you want to but He is there with you making those decisions. Your desires become His will and you are happy for it.
I'm a genius, but I know I'm not as smart about the future as God is.