In July, a friend of ours was in town for some Army training. By word of mouth he heard of a Crossfit gym that is just a few minutes away from our home. Knowing I had been working out, he invited me to this gym.
The gym is owned by a married couple who are there together most of the time and are both Crossfit certified trainers. This was the first indicator that this would be a comfortable gym for me to go to. It is very important, as married ladies, to carry ourselves as such. It should be visibly evident to those who meet you that your are happily married and not looking for anything else. Choosing a gym with a family atmosphere was very important.
Though RLB has never met the owners of this gym, they know a lot about him and our family. I talk about and edify RLB a lot. I also take our son with me when he's on breaks from school. It is visibly evident that this is not a social hour for me. It is a time that I am committed to learning how to do the lifts and exercises with a clear fitness goal in mind.
It is most convenient for me to go to the gym during the late morning and lunch hour when my girls are busy with their school work. There is a consistent group of guys that work out at the same time and occasionally a couple of women. Five of the guys are single and three are married. Their ages range from late twenties to early forties. They are all at different levels of fitness. Not one of them, including the owner is a natural Alpha male. From observation, I'd have to say all are natural Deltas. Normal, everyday, guys.
Since there are usually only two women there during this time, me and the owner's wife. I've gotten the opportunity to observe the guys' behavior with each other. There are two different circumstances that their behavior and the overall mood of the gym changes, when a single, attractive woman is there, or when an Alpha/high Beta male stops in. In both circumstances the normal guys get quiet. Oddly enough, I've never seen one of these Alpha males attempt to do the WOD (workout of the day) along side the regulars. They are usually just stopping in to talk...and talk...and talk with the owner. From what I've learned, the owner is a situational Alpha because he, 1) owns the gym and 2) is the most successful Crossfit competitor.
Here's what I've learned by observing the behavior of everyday, normal guys:
- They are pleasant. A good mood/disposition is their natural state. Even when something is frustrating them outside of the gym, it doesn't affect their treatment of the other guys.
-They love to laugh. Conversations, no matter how they start, end up in laughter.
-They can't stand women who act like guys. There is one woman that works out there later in the evening they have talked poorly about. She grunts like a guy, yells during heavy lifts and carries herself like a guy. It is very repulsive to them.
-They are helpful. They help each other put on loads, take off loads, put away equipment etc. with a natural ease that is just part of going about their business.
-They are not status conscious with each other. The income range between these guys based on what I've learned their jobs are is from broke college student to around $80K (Junior officers in the Army). This has no bearing on the respect they show each other.
-They don't care about physical appearances. A couple of the guys have ear lobe plugs and other piercings, tattoos, and trendy hair. The Army guys are clean cut and shaven. This has no bearing on the respect they show each other.
-The focus on self improvement is key. They compete a little with each other but for the most part are competing with their yesterday's self. This may just be the nature of Crossfit but they are mindful of each other's previous personal records and encourage each other to exceed it.
-When they are doing a "best time" kind of workout, those who finish first stay around and wait for those who finish last, cheering and encouraging each other.
On Monday I witnessed something that inspired me to write this post.
The workout was a tough one, it was the gym's fourth anniversary and as usual on special days, there is an unusually difficult workout:
25, 20, 15, 10, 5 of:
Deadlifts @ 1.5 Bodyweight
Back squats @ Bodyweight
My scaled version was pullups with an assistance band (I've yet to achieve "pull up"), 113 lb deadlifts (my PR is 198 lb), and 83 lbs Backsquat (PR is 143 lb).
One of the younger guys was RXing it - my best guess is he weighs 170 lbs. He finished through the 15's, was about fifteen minutes in, and was doing his 10 deadlifts when he failed a rep, dropped the bar, and said in a quiet exasperated voice, "I can't do it."
I was right behind him and I barely heard him say it. But somehow his voice made it to all lengths of the gym because the rest of guys stopped what they were doing, and came flooding by his side. "You got this man, come on, one at a time, don't quit, you got this." And they remained with him, encouraging him, counting for him, cheering and supporting him until he completed the workout. And when he was done and lying on the floor they continued with, "that's awesome man, it's done, great job, knew you could do it."
If women would focus their desire to act like a man with regards to these traits instead of the lies feminism teaches, we might actually have some honorable ladies in our society. As it stands, women have rejected what it is to be a lady, denied what it is to be a man, and have created a new being that is a monstrosity.