Also, I take for granted that I have a "fix it" personality. It is very hard for me to understand relationships that are struggling for any length of time. I explained in "Now let me at the truth," the process I go through when something challenges me. When RLB came home from deployment, it took me all of a week to realize that when he said things have changed and he will no longer entertain my irrational behavior and manipulations, he meant it. I knew one of us was right. This frame he was upholding scared me. I knew he had been praying. Nothing I was doing was working as it had before. He didn't care if I cried, he didn't care if I had a fit, he didn't care if I ignored him...nothing was working. He wouldn't relent. I honestly was scared that God was on his side.
Obviously he was, I'm not an idiot. If the solutions I was coming up with were unbiblical and things that God hates (divorce), I must be wrong.
I must also be wrong in thinking I have a hard head and stubborn ways. The things I'm hearing from some of the husbands and wives who read this blog have convinced me that I'm actually malleable - when it comes to God's Word. That must be it, I am such a simpleton that when I read the Bible, I believe what it says. Never mind my IQ that is classified as "Very Superior Intelligence."
I laugh with RLB about how often I tell people to stop reading my blog if they're so offended by it. Oh, they don't like the way I write, I come across wrong, blah blah blah. Ladies, there are thousands of pleasant blogs out there. If you want to read some nicey nice blather about marriage, then go. But here's what I've learned. You've been reading those blogs and your marriage still sucks. You've been going to that church and listening to your pastor and your marriage still sucks. You've been listening to this mutual submission message and your marriage...SUCKS! Your husband is not happy, you're not turned on by him, you are on prescription drugs, you're fat and trying to justify it, you're stressed out and unhealthy and you're scared to read the Bible because you know you're going to read something you don't like.
Oh, SD, you don't talk like a Christian should talk. Jesus was a nice guy.
Really, who sold you that line of crap? And, what Bible are you reading?
But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.” - Matthew 16:23Oh, but that was to Peter and he was being an idiot....right? Peter was telling Jesus that the things Jesus knew were about to happen wouldn't happen. How stupid can you get, huh? To tell God that he is wrong?
"I don't have to have sex with my husband every time he asks, he'll get over it, geez, there's more to our marriage than just sex..."
Really? Sweetie, the only reason he married you was for the sex. So he could have sex that was right in God's sight and not sin. Because he burned for it. He was not like Paul.
Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 1 Corinthians 7:2There is more to your marriage AFTER sex. Yes, then there is companionship, parenthood etc.
"I think he's wrong. I don't want to do what my husband wants me to do because I don't feel it's right in God's eyes..."
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 1 Peter 3:1-2Well look at that, it says submit to your own husbands. Not Pastor so-in-so. Not marriage counselor, so-in-so. Not Elder so-in-so. Nope. YOUR OWN husband.
You are commanded to submit when you believe he is wrong SO THAT he may be won over...
Remember what Jesus said to Peter when Peter was saying God is wrong. What do you really think Jesus would say to you when he hears all the ways YOU say God is wrong?
Here's an exercise for the ladies, and the men who are still afraid to assert their authority in their marriages. Read Proverbs 30:21-23
For three things the earth is perturbed,
Yes, for four it cannot bear up:
For a servant when he reigns,
A fool when he is filled with food,
A hateful woman when she is married,
And a maidservant who succeeds her mistress.
I urge you to pray on these verses. Come to understand their meaning. Contemplate them.
And for those of you who have now vowed this is the last post of mine you will read, God Bless you.
I pray that you will continue to search for Truth.