Sunday, February 3, 2013

The hamster is dead

No, not the hamster in my head - I'm still trying to kill off that one by poisoning it with logic, honesty and rational thinking. Little sucker just won't die. (More on that later)

My daughter's hamster died last night. He is the first pet that has died in our home in all the seventeen years RLB and I have been married.

Part of the dowry that came with me when marrying RLB was a cat my mother had before she died. After we had our children and the cat was getting old we thought it'd be a good idea to get a hamster. They don't live that long and our children would be able to experience the death of a pet before the cat they'd grown to love died. It didn't happen. RLB got stationed in Korea and we had to leave the cat and the hamster with my sister. The hamster lived to over three years old and finally died at her home. The cat lived until she was sixteen and died at my sister's home as well. So though the kids had to say goodbye to those pets when we moved, they didn't experience their death as a loss of their pets.

While we were in Korea the kids won a couple of fish at a carnival. We had to move back to the States before the goldfish died. So we left them with friends and they eventually died with them. We were starting to wonder how it is that we can't get a pet to die in our home.

Two years ago we bought a hamster cage that came with a couple hamsters. And now finally one has died and our children are experiencing the loss of a pet. We'll have a service for little Humphree later today.

So, one hamster is dead in our house. There are four more to go. One cute little white one named Jerry and the three that reside in my daughters' and my head. 

The "hamster" is a term used to explain the rationalization and justifications women use to explain their behavior. It's spins on a wheel within our brains and allows us to blurt out ANYTHING but personal responsibility. It is one of the greatest frustrations men have with women.

If we're not happy, it is the fault of someone or something else. If we make poor decisions, there's got to be someone or something to blame. It is on a personal level and on a collective level among women.

The hamster is the projection we use when we don't want to hear or see truth. It is the fantasy unicorn world we live in when reality would hurt our delicate sensibilities. It is the princess mentality that is engrained in our brain from the feminism in our society.

The hamster is all the little lies you tell to yourself and to others.

The hamster is what Schopenhaurer speaks of when he says:
Women may be compared in this respect to an organism that has a liver but no gall-bladder. So that it will be found that the fundamental fault in the character of women is that they have no “sense of justice.” This arises from their deficiency in the power of reasoning already referred to, and reflection, but is also partly due to the fact that Nature has not destined them, as the weaker sex, to be dependent on strength but on cunning; this is why they are instinctively crafty, and have an ineradicable tendency to lie.
And what do we do to kill this hamster? I don't know, mine isn't dead yet. I have learned to control the little bastard to an extent by shutting my mouth, and praying. You must first recognize it is there. When confronted with something, take note of your very first response. Now think to yourself, "does this negate my responsibility?" If so, pause, don't speak, and try as hard as you can to understand how you are responsible for what you're being confronted with.

Simple example: RLB says, "I'm out of socks." If my first thought is, "Well, I've been busy, I wasn't able to get to the laundry. There are other socks in your drawer, you aren't really out of socks." - This is the hamster.

The truthful response with personal responsibility is, "I'm sorry, honey. I didn't make the laundry a priority. I'll get right to it."

Then there's this gem I threw at him when I was in rebellion: He was deployed and I was giving him an earful of my infinite wisdom of what he should be doing. He said, "whatever" and hung up on me. To which I quickly texted him with the utmost indignation: "I am NOT your 'WHATEVER'!!! I am your WIFE...blah blah blah blah blah." The hamster was on overdrive. I was completely blind to reason and accountability.

The truthful response with personal responsibility would have been: "I am so sorry, I am out of line. I have completely disrespected you. Please forgive me."

Yet another way to find harmony in your home, ladies. Start killing that hamster!

1 comment:

  1. How many lives does a hamster have? This existential issue of hamster longevity requires examination. Then there is the rejuvenation of undead hamster, the hamster zombie that leads to the hamster zombie apocalypse. Imagine the steady trudging on the wheel, you think the hamster is dead because he no longer has bursts of speed, he now has settled into a paced shambling walk that creates low lever passive aggressive issues.
    A head shot is required to put him down for good.

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