So after reading the comments and several suggested links, I have come to some conclusions. First, it's not easy to just discuss a singular issue even with men. Holy crap do people go off on tangents and I get caught up in it as well. Second, it's all about money and power to ministers.
The comments were about no buildings (i.e. debt service), church boards having influence (positive or negative), and withholding money (male control of finances). All of these are money and power related. I propose the best way to deal with a minister is to attack that issue right off the bat. In any opening conversation with the minister, you must set the tone of biblical authority in your life and the resulting consequences. Ask them if their position as minister is more important than the authority of the bible. Ask them if their positions on volatile issues are determined by the denominational view or independent of it. Ask how they differ from denominational doctrine. Have them cite why their view is more biblically based than the denomination. Attack immediately. If they show a disregard of the bible in any of these areas, confront them and give him a chance to change. If he doesn't, move on. It isn't worth putting your family in a non-biblical church to feel good about getting your attendance sheet checked.