Monday, March 11, 2013

(This is why I swear)

Now is the time for all good, big breasted, feminists to come to the aid of their herd.

Reduce those boobies so nasty sexist men won't think you appear weak. Do it in the name of progress! Do it to "stick it to the man" - the hostile, female objectifying, sexist pigs!

It is science, sexist men prefer big boobs!

The best way you can avoid these horrible individuals is to just not be on their radar. Cut your hair, pile on the pounds, dress like a frump and for goodness sakes, hide those ta-tas!

Signs you have already become a victim of benevolent sexism:

-Your overlord opens doors for you!
-He keeps you tucked away at home while he gets to go make the money!
-He suppresses your intellect by making you mother the children!
-He compliments your hair and body indicating he is pleased by your looks!

Call our victim's hotline immediately! Though this benevolent sexism "makes us feel better about where we are in our own lives" - it must be reported as the hate crime that it is! We must spread awareness!

To recap, if you are well endowed, it's time to go under the knife. And, if you see or hear of traditional roles being played out in a home near you (or even more tragically, in your own home), report those bastards at once!


10 comments:

  1. Total insanity.

    But that's to be expected from people who stubbornly cling to a demonstrably false worldview in the face of overwhelming contradictory evidence.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I saw this article posted on my facebook feed by a feminist I know.

    The best part? Her photo on FB has her in a swimsuit which goes out of its way to show off her big boobs.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh my goodness.

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  4. From the Benevolent Sexism article:

    In essence, it's the idea that "women are wonderful, but weak," says lead study author Kathleen Connelly, PhD

    I will be sure to tell the 12-13 year old boys at my gym that can bench more than me that they are being sexist and to knock that crap off. How dare they have this idea (really, it's just an idea?!) that I am weaker than they are!!

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  5. No! Not teh boobiez!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. @ Stingray

    Ah, but heavy weights are part of the big patriarchal conspiracy to make women feel weak and inferior, donchaknow. What we need for women are weights that lift themselves, so that women can have the same feeling of accomplishment after a workout that men do.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Benevolent sexism... another one of those parodoxes.

    Of course feminists adore benevolent sexism. It comes in the form of VAWA, ERA, reducing entrance requirements for physically demanding jobs.

    And, I won't go on about boobs.

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  8. Maybe my lack of chesty-goodness is why all the teachers liked me.

    "Way to stick it to the chauvinists, Flat Girl!"

    I'm humbled.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Retrenched,

    I was thinking about this last night and this is what I propose (Nay, decree!). All 45 lb. plates will remain their same diameter and thickness. They will still read 45 lbs (and whatever Kg. that is). However, they will actually only weigh 10 lbs. Men are only allowed to use up to 4 plates at any given time. Women, however, may use as many as they wish.

    This is fair and right.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That will work great unless someone starts doing pullups.

      Delete

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