Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Personal responsibility

Someone will say: Yes, Socrates, but cannot you hold your tongue, and then you may go into a foreign city, and no one will interfere with you? Now I have great difficulty in making you understand my answer to this. For if I tell you that this would be a disobedience to a divine command, and therefore that I cannot hold my tongue, you will not believe that I am serious; and if I say again that the greatest good of man is daily to converse about virtue, and all that concerning which you hear me examining myself and others, and that the life which is unexamined is not worth living - that you are still less likely to believe. And yet what I say is true, although a thing of which it is hard for me to persuade you. - Plato
"The life which is unexamined is not worth living."

I have been accused It has been correctly observed that I take part in personal responsibility shaming.


Doesn't being the victim get tiring? Doesn't it get infuriating to live with the belief that all the wrong in one's life is the fault of someone or something else? How can one possibly maintain a healthy mental condition when they pretend to be so powerless in their circumstances?

What is denied to oneself is the liberation that comes from owning one's personal responsibility. It is an indescribable feeling.

Agency - the only word that comes to mind.

This desire that exists to protect all souls from ever being convicted of their personal responsibility is so inherently evil. It is sad enough to witness someone grasping at straws to blame anything for their disposition or circumstance. To coddle and protect this denies them providence.

It is a very simple process to begin the journey of personal responsibility. Not to be confused with it being easy. It's not. But it is very simple.

It hurts.

The Crossfit gym I go to has a slogan: "It's supposed to hurt" - I love it.

What you'll find, after being brave enough or having enough faith to start the journey, is that you'll seek it. You will begin to examine all of your thoughts, moods, and actions. You will take captive irrational thoughts, you will pray for a more pleasant disposition, and you will change your actions.

You will quite literally hunger for correction for you will come to know it is a crucial element to acquiring wisdom.

So, what are some examples?

For me, when I'm feeling off or irritable, I will literally go to the calendar. If it is that time of the month I will quickly dismiss my mood as invalid and implement my go to solutions. I'll read the Bible, pray, drink some coffee, read something funny, go to the gym, take some Primrose, look at beautiful things etc. I will apologize for any outward expressions of a negative mood I may have given my family. If need be, I will excuse myself from them - I give myself a time out.

If it is not that time, I analyze what is occurring in my life. I will sit in quiet contemplation until that which is bothering me comes to mind. I will then assess if there is anything I can do about it. If there is, I take action. If there is nothing I can do about it, I go through the process I listed above.

The woman who told me I was personal responsibility shaming is an obese woman with every justification possible of why she is obese - a professional victim. If what is affecting your mood is something that will take a long process to change (like losing weight and getting fit and healthy), you must...MUST take action. Every time the sadness and self condemnation enters your brain. You must make a commitment to taking action. Inaction is defeat. You have no right to wallow in a pity party if you have chosen inaction. Get up and get moving. If your accumulation of fat has caused you to feel bad, realize that your mood has affected the tranquility of your home. Confess this truth to your husband. Just say the words: "I'm sorry my mood has been sour, I am struggling with how far I've let myself go. I'm working to change this. Please forgive me. Please pray for me."

Ladies, I promise you...PROMISE, you will feel such an intimate connection with your husband if you will just confess to him your responsibility of your moods and ask for his forgiveness. What you will also come to know is that you've wasted precious time not doing this. Because men...they are so awesome. It is a rare man who will not bless you with his support and encouragement. Part of the unique nature of men is empathy. When anyone, man or woman, confesses personal responsibility and accountability to them, they feel compassion. They present solutions without judgement and respond positively to this measure of respect.

It is an outward expression of respect to confess your personal responsibility for your thoughts, moods, and actions to your husband.

Do this and be blessed. 


  1. It's because of this that I go to confession often.

  2. "It's because of this that I go to confession often."

    It really is good for the soul.

  3. 1Jo 1:9 NKJV - If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.


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