Wednesday, March 13, 2013

"You Can Be the Wife of a Happy Husband" - An excellent book for your marriage

In searching through books that are marketed to help marriage relationships, I remembered one I read very early on in our marriage. It impacted my life in a great way. Prior to reading it, I'd have called myself a Christian if you asked me but I was in deep rebellion and hadn't read the Bible since I was a child. In fact, I was so awful that in the midst of a huge fight with RLB, he pulled out his Bible and began reading and ashamedly I screeched at him:  "What are you doing? That's just an ancient book written by 40 different men, like that's going to help you!"

The book I'm about to tell you about honestly helped me confirm my Christian faith. I remember praying the sinner's prayer while I was reading it. I regret that I didn't read it over and over again to move on from that to living a life in obedience to God.

The book is called, You Can Be the Wife of a Happy Husband by Darien B. Cooper.

It was seventeen years ago when I read this book. All those years, I had already read the keys to a successful marriage but I allowed, sin, rebellion, unbiblical books and advice to overshadow the truths I had learned.

This book does not do what so many marriage books today do, it does not absolve women of their responsibilities in marriage. In fact, the whole book is about just that; how we, as women, ought to be in our marriages. The book is not only biblically based, the author uses scripture references consistently throughout as the foundation of all of her advice.

Here are some of the highlights:
God provides definite solutions to life's problems - including a detailed outline of how a successful marriage may be maintained. 

We are to be responders to our husband's love, protection, and leadership.

True submission never imprisons us. 

The woman will find happiness as she meets her husband's needs. 

Worry, jealously, discouragement, a critical attitude, and bitterness may be signs that you are controlling your own life. 

Both Christianity and marriage involve a deliberate choice. 

God did not give you the job of convicting your husband of sin and error. 

Your husband needs your support, not your protection or smothering. 

Your home should be a haven, a place where both of you can relax and be yourselves. 

Regardless of your husband's spiritual status, your role - your way of relating to him - should be the same. 

In any successfully functioning unit, someone must assume major responsibilities, make final decisions, and direct activities in order to prevent disorder and chaos. 

The final authority in your life must be God's Word. 

The phrase "as to the Lord" keeps this act of submission from being slavery and makes it a voluntary act of love. 

Submission is an attitude. 

Your submission to your husband is part of God's plan for order in our world. 

The woman's role is crucial, strategic, and often hard to fill. 

You should have great freedom and joy in satisfying your husband's sexual desires and needs, just as he should have the same freedom and joy in satisfying yours. 

Know more about your husband's needs and wants than any other woman. 

When you make sex an exciting and satisfying part of your life together, you will please your husband and be obedient to Christ's instructions to you. 

Make your bedroom the most beautiful room in your home, since this is the room where you and your husband regularly display love for each other. 

As you wholeheartedly desire to satisfy your husband sexually and respond positively to his actions, you will have increased sexual satisfaction.

Needless to say, I highly recommend this book!

I will continue searching for more great books and will continue to criticize the ones that deceive. I've added a list to the blog. As I come across books I'd recommend, I will add them to the list. 


  1. On The Other Side Of The Garden by Virginia Fugate is another excellent one. A women I mentor recently gave it to me and it is sound biblical advice. Thank you for your recommendation. I am going to order it now since I love hearing of good marriage books. I have found very few I like much. Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl is my favorite. Have you read that one?

  2. Wow. Wish we'd had that book early on. Probably wouldn't hurt now either.

    I'll try to get this for my kids for their marriages. Seems broader than Kay's MMSL Primer, which I've heard has good advice but it's focused in one area (and he's not a Christian).

  3. stg58/Animal MotherMarch 13, 2013 at 1:10 PM

    It sounds like a great book, and the power would be in the convicting nature of the book. I bet most women who don't want to read it or stop reading it do so because they can't handle the truth. It is too convicting and too "judgemental" of them.

    I know this blog us a repository of cold hard truth because some women can not handle what SD tells them. The truth hurts.

  4. Thanks for the recommendation, SD. I just want to express my appreciation for your work in sifting through the largely unbiblical mess that is the literary Christian marriage counseling genre. Although I'm a single guy, I do have a couple of sisters who might benefit from this one.

    So I looked up the book up on and read some of the reviews. Unfortunately (though certainly not surprisingly) not everyone found the book to be as helpful as you did:

    I made the mistake of trying to reason with this woman, but she's entirely unreasonable, to the point where she admitted that she finds 1 Peter 3:5-6 misogynistic. If a woman like this finds the book to be offensive, it must have something good to say.

  5. Thank you Joel. That conversation you had with her was quite enlightening. Is it any wonder marriages are in the condition they are?

    I often wonder what it feels like to be Satan's messenger as this woman is. I mean do they spin around wildly wondering if they'll be struck for speaking such vile rebellion to God's Word as if it's Truth?

    You can read her other reviews and see that she is a frothing at the mouth feminist pig. Satan's minion for sure.

    1. "You can read her other reviews and see that she is a frothing at the mouth feminist pig. Satan's minion for sure."

      Yes, I did notice that.

      What I always find amazing about such women (and men who express the same nonsense) is how much they've convinced themselves that they're not feminists, despite the feminist dogma they so clearly espouse. I'd have a little more respect for such people if they would just be upfront about who they are and to whom they owe their ideas.

      Anyway, thanks for the response. I look forward to your next review. :)


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