Thursday, March 14, 2013

Tastes like chicken

Being married to an introvert, I've come to understand that being "out and about" is close to hell to them. He's not shy at all, he just doesn't find being in the public very appealing. I can't say I blame him, people are annoying. When there is a function I have to be at or desire to go to, I'll ask him if he wants to go. But I don't expect his answer to be anything but the look that says, "are you kidding?"

Since his injury, not only does he not want to go many places, he also considers how painful it will be. He needs to have a proper chair to sit on or a way he can walk around to get relief from his back pain. So what I was asking of him was really a stretch. I wanted to go to the rodeo. I'd never been to one and we won't be in rodeo country for long. I'd been talking about wanting to go for years so finally, last summer he agreed to go. He took enough pain medication with him to be able to tolerate sitting in the stands for short increments.

His back pain was intense, still is, but what I didn't know then is how much of a mental toll chronic pain is on the sufferer. A lot has improved in that area for him by learning coping skills and just plain acceptance that this might be his condition for life. At the time of the rodeo, however, it was still new and unfortunately, my husband with the usual great sense of humor was not going to appreciate what I was about to do to him.

The gentleman in front of us brought up a big basket full of breaded and fried chicken nuggets. RLB asked if I'd go get him some. No problem, but, I couldn't find the vender who was selling them. I only found one cart that was selling food like that and the sign said "Calf Fries." I'd never heard of calf fries before but what people were walking away with were baskets full of what looked like breaded and fried chicken nuggets. So I asked the young lady what these calf fries were. Many of you already know and are either saying "oh gross" or "yum, those are awesome." They are breaded and fried bull testicles served with a side of ranch dressing.

Immediately two entities appeared upon my shoulders. One said, "do it, this will be hilarious." And the other, of course, said, "don't you dare, he will be so mad at you." It wouldn't be much of a story if the the good angel won, would it?

I planned on giving them to him, taking a picture of him eating one, laughing at the disgusted look on his face, and then telling him. I promise, that was the plan. However, I gave them to him and before I could even get a picture, he was tearing into them. So, apparently they taste like chicken because he didn't even question them. He just kept dippin and eatin, dippin and eatin. I was busting a gut laughing at this point and couldn't keep it from him anymore.

He was not happy.

He's forgiven me now and uses every opportunity he can to remind me of how evil women can be. When we watch a show where the wife does something even remotely similar to her husband he says to the kids, "see, just like mom, women are evil." It's true. I can't deny it.

It's still funny.

But now it's really hard to get him to go anywhere.


  1. I am so sorry to hear of your husband's back pain. I lived for many years with horrible neck pain and even had to have my neck fused until I found He said the pain is from inflammation and ice is the only thing that will heal it. For one month, all day long, I would put frozen peas on my neck 15 minutes on and 15 minutes off and it helped it SO much. Has he ever tried something like this?

  2. He has used ice but not for a month all day long. Thanks for the link, we'll check it out.

  3. I've heard the story before.

    I don't think I would have been mad. I'd even try them sometime.

    To prove that you are not, in fact, evil, you should have eaten some yourself.

  4. I did. They're not bad, a little greasy.

  5. Lived in Texas, 3 different cities, Dallas, Odessa, and Houston, over the span of 20 years, and never encountered "calf fries", or bull testicles in any form other than in urban legend. How did I avoid them? Was a regular attender of the Houston Livestock and Rodeo every February, participated in trail ride stop off point cooks, all that, never saw these nasty things. I did see a leather goods shop once named "Saco de Toro" which is hilarious. But no contents of the saco were cooked and served inside.

    You could put bags of frozen bull testicles on the back....a novel treatment.

  6. Clarification....I meant the question about avoiding them literally, not as some snide way to suggest you did not have them.

  7. Are you sure? Did ya eat the Rocky Mountain oysters? Criadillas? Huevos de toro? Cowboy caviar? Montana tendergroins? Dusted nuts? Swinging beef? :)

  8. My favorite related name is Bullberry barrel works.

  9. Nope....though those names are familiar

  10. He needs to get out, you know. Says me. And I am an introvert.

    That includes the gym (preferably one run by a rehab person: you need to find the old farts gym that is used to dealing with back injuries -- fixed my back, but the socail things we all need to do to feel connected.

    So use your skillz to help him manage these things. Hint: agreed leave times.


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