Monday, May 6, 2013

Weak Man Syndrome

I had another Delta/Beta type breakdown this weekend. My future is quite uncertain. My pain level goes through the roof at certain times. I cried and had a genuine pity party with SD. It happens. Knowing men as I do, this is not uncommon. What is uncommon is having a wife that can handle it.

I also had a typical Alpha friend go off the reservation this weekend. Understanding the nature of our spouse is key to preserving the covenant you committed to. Your marriage isn't just between you and your spouse, if you are a Christian. God is there to be the thing you and your spouse need when you suck. He is the forgiveness and grace that influences you or your spouse in such a way to overlook their or your weakness.

I didn't understand what praying without ceasing was. It took me some time in life to actually understand what that feels like and how it works. When you get it, everything you think and do in life is predicated by thinking about God and His guidance. It isn't verbal. It's constant and reassuring. It's a safety net. He knows you. He knows your rebellion. Accept His knowledge of you and keep talking to Him. You still get to do what you want to but He is there with you making those decisions. Your desires become His will and you are happy for it.

I'm a genius, but I know I'm not as smart about the future as God is.


  1. This is what I do not like about the whole alpha game thing, it boils things down to a formula and omits God.

    Weakness shared by a couple forms a bond that doesn't break. It teaches children. It hardens warriors. It gives Glory to God!

    And to give you some hope. Two things.

    One, The Bates family (regularly on the Duggars) was talking about how the Father had a major job change right as some of his older sons were coming of age. He prayed and used that to change his career path and started a bunch of businesses with his sons to teach them skills and learn them along side them. He was able to give all of his sons real world business experience and skills in several areas (I think they were tree surgery, window washing and some other areas) that each have gone on to use in various ways. He lost a really well paying career where he was comfortable, but parlayed that into priceless training for his sons.

    Another family relayed recently how it was the dream of the parents to have a homestead in AK. They loved it, but God moved strongly on the Husband to move to South Florida after they were firmly settled in AK for several years living their dream. The Wife hated it and did not want to go and leave her dream. Fast forward ten years she is praising God she went. Three of their four children ended up being called to the mission field in tropical countries.
    Coming from AK to tropical South Florida they ran into every mistake someone makes who doesn't know how to deal with a tropical climate. However, that learning curve saved their children and prepared them to THRIVE where GOD was taking them. The Wife said it was never about her and her Husband. It was about God's plan for their family and while He gave them what they dreamed of for awhile, He called them to sacrifice it to Him for the purposes that He had for a future they knew nothing about. Blind obedience Faith!

    Maybe this change is not about you. Maybe it is not about your injury or a weakness. Maybe it is a move of God for His purpose and Glory. Maybe your Son needs to be somewhere with you available more then you would be now. Maybe your daughters. Maybe all of you. Maybe you are greatly needed somewhere, exactly as you are, by God.

    In our weakness we are strong. Hold on Brother and Sister in Christ. I have seen this in my own life and offer you this comfort, cling to God together. Let your children see it. When life slaps them they will recall what you did.

    People are watching who will remember your weakness being overcome by your Faith!

    God said He will not forsake you. It is enough!

    Cling to God. We are praying for you!

  2. This is what I do not like about the whole alpha game thing, it boils things down to a formula and omits God.

    I don't agree with this. But I like everything else you had to say.

    Identifying our husband's natural responses helps us to understand when he's feeling weak. RLB's response/words/actions are very different in times of vulnerability than our natural Alpha friend's are. It's quite similar to identifying personality types.

    Men are wired differently than one another. And though they can observe and emulate some traits and behaviors of the more socially successful man, there are some behaviors those men inherently posses that men would be wise to not emulate - their response to vulnerability, for example. The positive qualities of the Delta are revealed in challenging times. Where as one almost feels bad for the natural Alpha. He'll often self destruct because humility does not come natural to them.

  3. Please let me clarify that I mean game in general is presented this way. I think men are human with frailties as well and admiting them and accepting the God given comfort of a helpmeet is a good thing. I think the concept of game is important but has some limits. I do agree with your points.

    Respectfully, I have had good success with tumeric, red pepper, arnica gel and magnesiumm oil for injuries. Maybe one could help.

  4. You're a genius, eh? Im glad you wrote that in there at the end of youre post, else I would have never known.

  5. Yes, he is. That's the designation given to those with a 165+ IQ. In fact he's being conservative, "Extraordinary genius" or "Exceptionally gifted" are the actual terms used.

    But clearly the point sailed right over your head.


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