Sunday, May 12, 2013

The disdain for the other side of the horse

In the face of the feminist indoctrination, I went my own way. The way of civilization. The way of Christianity.

Twenty years old and I married the enemy. A man. Though I'd been told to:  get your education, pursue your career, chart your own course, there's plenty of fish in the sea, don't settle so young, live your life, revel in your youth, don't bog yourself down with a husband and children, go, live life!

I listened to them. I heard what they were saying. But something more powerful was presented before me. A man. They failed to warn me sufficiently of his power, the influence of infatuation, lust, desire, friendship, passion, companionship, partnership...becoming whole.

One with him.


So we wed. Young, naive. He more committed than I. He came from an upbringing of perseverance. I...I came from divorce. From quitting when it gets tough.

I tried to quit. He wouldn't let me. He taught me some Truth.

And so I continued, going my own way. I heard the lies: You need to help provide for the family, put your children in daycare, go to work, you can be more than a mother.

He said, "No. I will provide, I need you to mother. This is our child, the future, he needs you now."

And so I went that way. On meager subsistence we went our way. He provided, I mothered.

We listened to the whispers for a short time: put him in school, he'll be socialized, he needs to be around children his age. Then we pulled him back, to go our way. We had resistance. "What makes you think you're qualified to teach your child?" We didn't listen. We continued on our way.

Fast forward ten years. I almost went their way again: He isn't treating you right, you will be fine on your own. You deserve to be happy.

I went my own way, toward him and toward Him.

After all, it was always going His way. Not my way, not the way of the world, not the way of the feminists, not the way of the hopeless, not the way of the weary.

His way is a way toward victory. It is the way toward wholeness.

It isn't the easy way. It isn't the way for cowards.

Young men, you will hear a similar message. To go your own way. Listen closely. Hear the similarities.

The foundation of successful civilization has always been the family. The enemy will always seek to destroy it.

Listen to the evil that drips from their lips.

Better yet, look at the examples of the countless women who listened to feminism's lies and now live lonely barren lives. No legacy, no progeny...nothing. They went the way of the world and are moaning in the streets because of their decisions.

Do not be deceived.

You have a mighty God who hates that you remain without hope. How dare you cower to fear and believe your government  more powerful than your Lord!


  1. These are nice and even inspiring words.

    Here's my question to you: what do you say to the man who honestly looks and cannot find a woman worth marrying?

  2. Submit to a mentor. Take a look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. Pray. Move.

    These are the things RLB did. Was I worth marrying? No, not by many men's standards. He found value in me. Because of his commitment to finding a wife, he knew what he was looking for. Because he had taken an honest assessment of his own self, he was able to see past my obvious faults and recognize a woman of value to God and worthy of His forgiveness. He then saw me as a woman of value to him and worthy of his forgiveness.

    The men who claim to have found no woman worthy have not made an accurate assessment of their own selves. Nor do they believe they have within them the strength to see it on through. I don't care if they're a virgin. They are sinners. Filthy rags. To believe otherwise is an arrogance that must be shamed.

    I'm raising two girls who will be worth marrying and by no means will we approve of an arrogant man who finds himself righteous and above rebuke.

    Do not confuse this to mean I am saying to marry the sluts. I find it absurd for any man to claim the two million women turning 18 this year (in the US alone) are all unworthy. Any man who claims as much is not a man worthy of marriage.

    In a nutshell, what I'm saying is a man who deems all women he encounters as not an honest man. He has not taken an honest assessment of his own failings and unworthiness. If he is saying they are unworthy because of their lack of attraction to him, he needs to be honest with himself and then invest in himself, the mentorship of successful men.

  3. Great post.
    Anon I was terrible on paper. God has done and is still doing a mighty work in me.We are all fallen and but by the grace of God would all fall prey to the evil of this world.
    Waiting for perfection is a way of opting out. You are not perfect. If you are a believer the same grace keeps you not your gender.
    Talk to them about recalibration...what could it hurt?
    You can not tell me that a part of you wants us to be right.
    I was an abused child raised among domestic violence and witchcraft that makes poltergiest look like Sunday dinner. I met and married my love at 18 and nearly 20 years later we are still together. Marriage was part of the process of refining me. Motherhood was a huge part. It changed my Spiritual dna.
    You dont truly want to give up. It is just hard. I know what that is like. The failure is in doing nothing. Hard times come. God uses them to refine and harden warriors. I would not trade any of my battle scars. They help me, taught me and encourage me.

  4. Great thoughts.

    I came across your blog through comments you left at Alpha Game.
    This blog has become one of my favourites.

    1. Welcome Clinton, and thank you for your kind words.

  5. Good thoughts. I had a think today, too. It might even be coherent.

    1. Were your ears ringing...I was just reading it. It is very coherent. In fact I was reminded of the despair I could read in your comments before LoA. And now I read joy in your comments. It's such a beautiful victory, what you and LoA have.

  6. Lovely story. So happy for you and the family you've created. As a woman who learned late what really mattered and made choices I have to try and make the best of today, I'm always heartened and grateful by brothers and sisters in Christ who are making a difference by going forth and multiplying and training up children in the way they should go.

    You and I had exchanges at AG back in late February (I blogged that day as Disillusioned, which I was). It appeared we were at odds. We are not. I can do as women often do and explain the dozens of reasons it was a really bad day for me. It was. It has been a particularly difficult time of life at present, but one I know is serving a purpose when I allow God's will to be done. I still go back to that day in late February and what I call my "rant" and try to understand what set me off and what I've learned. I know that my disillusionment was really more about PUAistry and bitterness toward women than Game. I've been catching on little by little to some of these various blogosphere conversations. Due to stress of late (and my age - early 50's - it does matter), my attention span is pretty shot, so I don't really follow too closely or well. Maybe one day I'll be more articulate about it, if it even matters.

    Anyway, just wanted to say how much joy I sense in your life today and how awesome that is for you, your husband, and children. Be blessed!

    1. Welcome Ioweenie, and thank you for your kind words. I remember the exchange, I wrote about it in my post "Victories". Be encouraged, you impact others. I'll keep you in my prayers.

  7. Thank you. One more thing, would you and your husband say that in the beginning you and he were not "equally yoked?" I'm curious of your thoughts and his on this matter. Doing a final edit on a novel (mine) and an issue I am having difficulty resolving is this: would a mature Christian man, sincerely seeking to do God's will, go into marriage with a woman who he does not think has his level of spiritual commitment, but is a woman to whom he feels strongly led through prayer and one who is not hostile to God. In general, what are your - and, as a man, esp. RLB's - thoughts on a man marrying a woman who is not a professing Christian, but whose behavior demonstrates sound character. Thanks.

    1. Yes, RLB and I were equally yoked. We both grew up Lutheran and neither were concerned with biblical instruction. Both of us were heathens needing to repent. We were both seeking marriage. We both had internalized the same level of feminism's deception. When we were floundering after only a few months of marriage, RLB returned to the Bible and led me back as well.

      Though I came with plenty of baggage and a deplorable past, he knew he did as well. He was most concerned about my mother's divorces, however, my mother had died before I met him. I wouldn't be getting advice from her. He knew my story of having found my own church and walking there alone as a young girl. He extended much grace and forgiveness to me because of my honesty and the conditions of my past. What he looked for in me was my reaction to his family. It was positive - it was what I had been in desperate need of. They approved of me as well.

      I'm not sure if that helps. When RLB gets the chance I'm sure he'll be able to add more.

  8. Thank you. That's a wonderful help, touching and inspiring. I would very much appreciate RLB's take when he has time.

    My fiction involves a female character who was exposed to Christianity in her youth, but became skeptical/indifferent because of what she saw as poor examples in Christians. My male character was an unbeliever who became a solid believer later in life. They knew one another as unbelievers in college days, then meet again later when he's a believer and wanting to marry. Her life is changing; she's open to faith, moved by the changes in his life.

    Should he, as a believer, enter into marriage with her, not a professing believer. Thanks.

    1. Just because someone is skeptical/indifferent doesn't mean they aren't ready to declare their Christianity anew. We have led several through the process. The actual event takes about five minutes. The doubter will ask you at some point.

      One of the guys was a big burly professional realtor. He was crying like a baby in my car in less than five minutes. We knew each other for a while but the talk was led by his question.

      Someone that doubts but hangs out with you will ask how to get right. Your confidence exudes. Especially in this fictional example. If the woman is already chasing him, she is going to ask.

  9. Thanks, RLB. I love God stories, including mine.

    1. Anyway I could convince you to do a guest post so we can know your story? God stories are my favorite. My email address is at the bottom of the page if you'd be willing.

  10. What a wonderful conversion story, RLB! I have been reading this blog for some time now, but this is my first comment. You guys are doing a great job! I like your honesty.

  11. Thank you for the opportunity to share, SD. It would be an honor, one I will approach in the months ahead. The next few weeks will be hectic as I finally relocate to join my husband who has been working 5000 miles away since January. I'd been preparing to move mid-March, but late February, several difficulties and illness interrupted the plans.

    1. I look forward to it. I sure hope the move goes smoothly from here on out. I remember doing that with three small kids in tow to South Korea. Every challenge was worth it!

  12. Another inspiration. I suspect moving to another country with little children grew your confidence immensely. Sounds like great experience. My move is more a mental challenge than a physical logistic challenge, trying to prepare for unknown dynamics here in VA for the months I'm away. Since I hang out a little too much in my head, the thinking about it is generally more difficult than the doing! Can't wait to step on and off the plane.


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