There is a black dog in our neighborhood that only has three legs that work. It still runs with the other dogs and hunts with them. It is slower than the other dogs. However, this dog manages to have a large range of exploration. We see him up to three miles away. He still has the fourth leg; it just doesn't work. When we first saw him, the girls inclination was pity for him. I didn't really think much about him initially. As time has moved on I have come to respect him. The loss of use of a leg hasn't stopped him from doing what he does.
MWC asked, What do you do on a daily basis to "keep your wagon moving" in your
current physical condition. What do you do to lead your family, your
wife, etc? I have mentioned before that my father has been great inspiration to me. He has gone through many ailments and deterioration of the body. His leadership of our family has been consistent and effective. I look for examples of men carrying on their lives despite the challenges they have. Justin
The Marine is one such example. Sometimes just living is amazing.
I choose not to whine. When I find my mind wandering down the pity party road, I pray and stop it. The more examples you have to rely on; the easier this becomes. Job is great for this. Also great for this is having past success in overcoming adversity. This is the willingness to fail and keep moving. It is what makes sports great for the development of character. If you don't have past success, you have to start developing some. Certain days, my physical problems make taking a shower an accomplishment. I treat it that way too. Small victories along the way lead to better things. My attitude is better when I treat small successes as good progress.
I build on these small victories and it gets me to thinking about the future. This is the leadership families need. SD knows I have a plan for our future. Actually, I have several plans depending on various outcomes of things beyond my control. I identify the things I can control and the ones I can't. I develop contingencies for each scenario. I have always been a worst-case-scenario type of guy. I determine what that would be and then develop a plan for making it better.
A man's attitude about life is essential to leading his family during adversity. Control your mental frame of mind and your leadership comes naturally. A confident man knows he may fail, but he will rise again. There really isn't anything new in this. It's just my example of how to deal with it.
Tenacity
ReplyDeleteThe key is to never give thought, the unmind makes light of life, but achieves everything
Speed & ingenuity & complexity, apply ingenuity & complexity & then apply speed
Contemplate After the task is done
The best tasks are done automatically, as if you're on auto-pilot
It's this unmind effect, the auto-pilot effect, which allows you to achieve a hundred points of light, with a single stroke of a thought
The irony is time slows down, when you're on autopilot
Time works best when you work ahead of time, & it becomes invisible
Time works best when combined with tenacity
Tenaciously, create time, to great thoughts & action, to create ingenuity
Inspiration always strikes in a instant
Learn to constantly create those strikes of instance
I have an associate up here, mostly he's a customer, sometimes a mentor and occasionally a friend. He tells me that one the greatest strengths of humans is our ability to adapt to the situation that we find ourselves in.
ReplyDeleteIt is a great strength, but it's not limited to us humans.
A relation of my own asked about this in regards to leading his children and wife "red pill" like. The frame of mind can be conveyed, as you do so here, but what about the daily stuff? As a Christian, what does washing your wife with the word look like? A friend interprets that as having a bible study with the wife. Another that he needs to check in with her and make sure she is reading, etc. Do you have daily prayer? Weekly prayer?
ReplyDeleteNo manosphere person addresses these practical questions from what I have seen. The closest is Ian Ironwood's post on "Taking the Red Pill, Daily as directed" post. He is not a Christian though, so he can only convey the frame of mind. The focus of this blog seems so specific (Christian submission/leadership) that it seems fitting to answer them here. Not only that, but I assume you have had to figure this stuff out on your own through trial and error. And within the trial and error - what worked and what flopped? Was there a perspective difference between you and SD on those failures/successes? i.e., you led the kids/wife in X, it didn't go as planned and so you considered scrapping it. However, SD saw Y happen as a result and encouraged continuance of X.
Answer these, or not. I am just throwing out seeds for future blog posts of things that *I* find interesting and don't see addressed anywhere.
I spent seven months in Africa. It was very lonely and I learned what praying without ceasing means. I still pray without ceasing. God is always on my mind. Every conversation I have with SD and the kids is a prayer.
DeleteSince you aren't married, you wouldn't understand two becoming one. Bad marriage partners don't understand it either. Prayer without ceasing is something you could understand however. Every situation in life provides for washing your wife with the Word. You better know the Word. You also must be seeking Truth.
SD doesn't question my decisions in a rebellious form anymore. She still will ask questions, but it's in a manner of asking for guidance. Even when she thinks I may be off on something, she asks in a respectful manner. I don't take offense at the fact that I may be blind to something. If I don't have a solid answer backed by the Bible, I seek the Truth of the matter.
She doesn't question me disrespectfully anymore because I don't allow for it. I had to break her of the habit of being disrespectful. We have detailed that in the other posts. It all starts with bringing yourself into submission to God's Word. That is the starting block. You don't have to be perfect. You just have to keep having the conversation with Him.
Many of my posts highlight our daily life. This one in particular: I still suck, but there's hope
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteOT and this isn't a place to do that. I love many American women.
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