Becoming tethered to the truth

This post is going to need a little Mumford and Sons:

So I'll be bold
As well as strong
And use my head alongside my heart
So tame my flesh
And fix my eyes
That tethered mind free from the lies - Mumford and Sons, "I Will Wait"

Don't mind me, they're all I listen to currently.

The other day Dalrock wrote some priceless wisdom to a commenter of his. While reading it he blessed me with an admonishment I was in need of: "Don’t let her frame it as 'her not understanding'. This is as others have pointed out manipulation and rebellion."

If you're a reader of Dalrock's, you know there has been some fantastic discussion going on over there about biblical submission. It is so fitting that this last post of his is titled "Untethered" and that he was referencing the inconsistencies of a woman's writing. He opens the post with a quote of mine which humbled me as I was internalizing this admonishment, unbeknownst to him (I see Sunshinemary has quoted this as well in her post today over at The Woman and the Dragon, that and her kind words about the quote humble me further).

I have been disingenuously using the words "not understanding" to describe my rebellion to God's commands and my rebellion to RLB. This is a dishonest and subtle way to relinquish my responsibility for that rebellion.

I recognized immediately after reading Dalrock's words that I had just done it in my last post: "The stench of rotting bones":  

I had yet to understand biblical submission so even RLB's conviction wasn't enough to change my heart.

I then edited that statement to reflect the truth and began scouring every post I've written for the same deception and found several incidences of it:

In my post, "This":

I found the onus was on me. Through prayer, reading, and seeking wise counsel I came to understand how this simple command, and my failure to obey it (or even truly understand it) was the cause of the problem.

In "Justin the Marine and a very important vow":

I am so thankful for the changes that were brought about in our marriage three years ago. When I finally understood that my respect for RLB and submission to him are decisions I make, not for RLB, but for God. There is nothing that RLB does or does not do to earn or deserve my respect and submission, therefore there is nothing he can do that will cause me to not respect him or submit to him.     

In "A Love story":

It's hard to tell this story because it involves my ignorance and failure, something we women don't like to talk about. But how else can I tell you of the most beautiful love story that has happened in my life?  

In "How does he rank":

It wasn't until after we were married, nine months after having met, that he relaxed his frame. He started to allow me to dictate some of our decisions like where to live, where to go to college, and where to work. This combined with our first couple years of marriage made for a very rough start. I knew nothing of Biblical respect and submission and was therefore not tapping in (so to speak) to God's help in our marriage.  

In "The Christmas table":

I am now so grateful RLB said what he did to redirect my heart towards the vision God gave me. That shame turned to victory as that vision carried me through my struggle when I didn't understand my Biblical responsibilities as a wife. It was that longing that made me seek God, His way, His truth. 

And in "It comes as no surprise":

I know the struggle Christians go through to understand and accept all of the responsibilities of their Covenant with God in their marriages. I can only imagine the challenges faced when your relationship isn't even condoned by God. 

In each of these incidences, the words should indicate rebellion and not a lack of understanding or ignorance. I've been reading the Bible since I was a young child. I am very well aware of the words in it. To claim ignorance or lack of understanding of God's clearly expressed commands is a lie. It is, as Dalrock said, "manipulation and rebellion" itself. 

I am so thankful for this community of Christian bloggers who speak the truth and help me see what I need to change in order to become "that tethered mind free from the lies."