And all the gluttons reading moaned. "No, SD, not again. Don't talk about weight again. Can't I just read peacefully and enjoy topics that I don't think apply to me?"
Those who know me personally may be a bit confused. How can you be a glutton? You are not obese, you are twenty pounds overweight on a 5'8" frame. What you don't see is what I wrestle with on the inside. I have been doing so all my adult life. When the evidence of the gluttony shows it's ugly head in the form of weight gain, I fight to subdue it. But only long enough to rid myself of the excess. Once that is accomplished, I indulge once again, having changed nothing of my sin. I do this so my sin is not visible.
“Stolen water is sweet,Of course this Proverb applies to any sin you are tempted with, however for me, it's all about food. I feel it, like a seductive mistress calling me when I am all alone. No one is watching me. No one can see. No one will know.
And bread eaten in secret is pleasant.” Proverbs 9:17
The times I have been good, when I have restricted my diet for a few days and have worked out consistently, I justify indulgence with entitlement. "I've earned this." And there are times I flat out rebel and indulge with indignation.
I like to say I have a carb addiction. Doesn't it make me sound helpless? Doesn't it just take the onus and responsiblility delightfully from me?
Gluttony is not about food. It's rebellion. And how will I defeat it? With the most powerful weapon God has offered my free will: submission.
To whom do I submit?
Blogger, Lori Alexander asked me: "I see you are working on losing weight and looking good. Are you doing that in submission to your husband and wanting to please him?"
To which I answered: "I have always held an awareness of my weight. I have a threshold that I would reach and through disgust I would work to lose the weight. It wasn't until I stopped rebelling to RLB that I committed to a body pleasing to him. Never before have I been this committed and this focused. It has completely come from obedience to God's command to submit to my husband. The pop psyche "you've got to do it for yourself" is wrong. Myself, by myself sucks. Without submission, I succumb to temptation easily. I hadn't considered my gluttony until I was in submission."
She wrote a post about gluttony and submission a few days ago on her blog Always Learning.
RLB doesn't have to say a word. Now that I have sought rebuke for the sins which keep me apart from God, I have been convicted of my gluttony and have repented for it. The process of sinning no more starts with obedience and submission.
The process of defeating gluttony does not start with losing weight. It does not start with "do it for yourself." It does not start with "do it for your health." It does not start with banning the foods from your home that tempt you.
I am in need of no one to make my journey easier. To protect me from myself. All I am in need of is surrender and submission.
"So, SD, you do this for your husband?"
No. I do it because of him. That I may continue to become one with him, I must rid my life of rebellion. The resulting evidence of a body no longer dripping with repulsive fat will be pleasing to him. The resulting evidence of having a wife who has repented of her sin will honor him.
The blessings of submission are abundant. Ladies, if you want to improve your life, submit to your husbands. When your submission is pure and known by God, you will be in awe of the ways you will be guided towards betterment. It hasn't been painful. It's been a joy. You too will search for truth and invite rebuke for the sin that remains in you.
It has been seven days since I've indulged in my sin. It has been seven days since I surrendered. I have had minor temptations but have won. What I have enjoyed most is the joy I have when I win. I am elated and have a euphoria that gluttony never gave me.
I could become addicted to this.