"You said fuck"

It's at the 2:12 mark but the whole clip is one of my favorites from Jerry Maguire.

I say it too, every now and then. RLB read something that said swearing when you hurt yourself relieves some of the pain. I put this to good use when I crushed my hand in the folding ladder (user error). The girls told their father what they heard, "Mom yelled, fuck fuck fuck!" - I did. RLB promptly comforted me with *"10% honey, 10%." We laughed but my hand really hurt. It still hurts a month later. Now, I don't talk like trailer trash all the time but I've been known to drop the occasional f-bomb. There are times it's...appropriate. More on that later.

*10% - You must be 10% smarter than the equipment you are attempting to operate. 

If you have delicate sensibilities, this is probably not the right post nor blog for you. I don't offend easily and it's natural for me to assume others don't either. I get proven wrong about that frequently.

So, yeah, we swear around here. We also smoke, drink, and watch provocative television and movies.

Oh, oh, oh, what was that? SD and RLB smoke???  Well something has to be said doesn't it!! Surely they've never heard any good old smoker shaming, have they? Really, don't waste your time.

We've been in culture shock for a while since we left the Midwest. Where we grew up you offer your guests a beer, glass of wine, or a mixed drink. If they say, "No, I don't drink," we immediately wonder how bad the problem got. That is not the case where we are now. We've learned that such drinking is only done in private. Or, if they're "Good Christians," it isn't done EVER!

I'm not trying to shame non drinkers, just trying to point out that it's a cultural difference. Especially a Christian cultural difference.

The girls and I had a three hour drive to and from their swim meet this weekend. The biggest challenge we faced was to find a radio station we liked. How is it possible to have most of the radio stations playing songs by effeminate men gushing about Jesus? I love Jesus, don't get me wrong. But I can't stomach listening to these men at church, much less listen to their sanctimonious tunes over the radio. Bleh, puke!

I'm still a fan of Metallica, GnR, Scorpions, and Pearl Jam (duh). I love me a little Trace Adkins or Cross Canadian Ragweed. Thriving Ivory and Mumford and Sons are my go to music. And, I'll admit it, there are times I like to listen to some Flo Rida, Lil Jon, and Black Eyed Peas. But when it comes to worship, I'm a hymn fan. It's what moves me. I have yet to sing "How Great Thou Art" without crying, heart exposed, complete surrender. However you worship, I don't care. I just simply can not attend a church that requires my hands in the air. It's not how I connect with God.

We watch shows like The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother with our kids. Both shows bring up fantastic discussion topics. If How I Met Your Mother gives you pause, you are missing a fantastic display of today's sexual market place. And, you've missed the latest episode, The Robin. Where the truth we've always known is revealed. It was excellent. I cried.

RLB and I watch Dexter without our children. But we do watch The Walking Dead with the two older ones. Our oldest daughter is an archer (she was even before The Hunger Games). She received a zombie target for Christmas. It's really gross. And great fun to place strategically in the garage so when Mom goes out for her morning coffee and smoke it scares the crap out of her.

Oh, SD mentioned that smoking thing again.

As amazing as it will sound, RLB has witnessed to more smokers than anyone else. When we're in public, he purposefully goes out to "the smoking line" where the gross evil doers are allowed to get their fix. He strikes up the most fantastic conversations with the other shunned individuals. He does this at work too. It's uncanny how much a Private will open up to an Officer who...smokes (gasp).

One of the first and most humbling moments was after a Chamber of Commerce event about ten years ago. We had been drinking and smoking with a very successful realtor in the area. He was a young guy, in his late twenties. He was good at what he did. He listed and sold million dollar properties monthly. He had had a few drinks so we were driving him home. In the back seat of the car he started talking to RLB. He knew we were Christians who always uplifted him and encouraged him. We knew he was prone to being unfaithful to his girlfriend. We'd see him out at these events wooing beautiful women. We never judged him. RLB would tell him every now and then, "Get your life right, man."

He decided to. Right there in our car. He said to RLB, "Dude, I have snorted $150K up my nose this last year. I'm such a fuckin fraud." We listened. For a long time. Then, in one of the most beautiful moments I have ever known, RLB walked him through accepting Christ as his Savior.

If you haven't read Og Mandino's The Greatest Miracle in the World, you might not know what I mean when I say I have seen RLB be the Ragpicker. Scorning him about smoking will only be met by sheer disdain (especially if you're overweight, stressed out, have a wife that doesn't respect you, divorced and particularly if you're not a Christian), so don't go there with us.

In short, we break all of your rules. We really do. We've taught our children to play Texas hold 'em and Sheaphead and enjoy gambling nights with them. They get fined for doing stupid things around the house; leaving lights on, leaving electronics on, messy rooms etc. One dollar per offense goes into the jar. That becomes our pot come game night.

Speaking of pot. RLB can't stand it. I on the other hand... heh, I'm teasing, though I do have some old friends we visit every few years who enjoy it and, well...

I just don't fit the good girl Christian mold. I've read your blogs, I've been to those churches, I've been to those Bible studies (never again), really I have. It's not me. And, here's the tricky part, I pray a lot, I read the Bible...a lot. I have been rebuked in many many things. Not once have I received a rebuke for the things I mention above. Quite the contrary, I continually find more and more rule breaking, wretched sinners just like us that are witnessing to unbelievers and spreading the Good News.

I have mentioned in a comment before that I will not debate with an unbeliever. I will not cast my pearls to swine is what I'm saying. However, if you genuinely have questions and are seeking - that is what we love.

Back to the word "fuck."

The most appropriate, tear inducing, no-better-word-for-it example I have seen the word "fuck" can be found in this post by Athol Kay: Oh No, Not Again. If you haven't yet, you must go read it.