A rational MGTOW parry

RLB:

You're only mostly right here in asserting MGTOWs are losers. Again, I still think you're painting with too broad a brush.

Something I think you're missing is that there are a lot of Christian men (churchian men?) who did all the things they were told to do. They got jobs, got educations, developed themselves as providers, kept themselves fit. But they didn't develop adaptive, aggressive, assertive, dominant personalities which would be attractive to women.

Even those men who did all the right things: develop assertive dominant personalities and raise their status -- were dropped into environments in which the available women rejected them. These were men who wanted marriage. These were men who wanted to obey and satisfy their sexual desires through marriage -- the only biblically sanctioned way to do so.

So they were given essentially choices in which they either (1) married physically unattractive, unappealing women; (2) married former carousel riders who aren't attracted to them; or (3) didn't marry. The men in categories (1) and (2) often find themselves in sexless marriages or divorced.

And so many men, including Christian men, are making the cost-benefit analysis, and thus concluding the possible benefit (marriage to a carousel rider and the attendant difficulties) outweights the costs. True, once a man makes that conclusion he shouldn't be bitching and whining and complaining because it's beta. But is this really whining and complaining, or is it sounding an alarm, a warning?

I think you're missing a few things here, and that's what flaws your analysis, and explains the pushback you're getting on these posts.

deti

I don't think men doing what they are told is justification for not following God's commands. I understand that it happened and I sympathize with it because I was a listener of the same BS.

Even those men who did all the right things... This the problem. They didn't do all the right things. They listened to liars. We can say they were too young to discern, but they aren't anymore. Not if they are on a blog whining. Ignorance is not bliss in this marriage market.

You must recognize the conditions on the ground of battle. You hold to your morality (Christianity) and find the way to succeed with that morality being held true.

And so many men, including Christian men, are making the cost-benefit analysis ... This is simply not accurate. These men don't want to adjust to the conditions on the ground. They just whine. Granted my experience is purely anecdotal, but it is wide spread and opposed by no actual scientific studies.

The only way out of this abyss will be a biblical method. The only alternative to Christian men is to be a leader that will mold a woman into the wife he desires. You won't find a perfect woman to mold. They are just as damaged as men are. You can set parameters for what a mold-able wife would look like/respond like. It doesn't change the fact that you, as the man, will need to lead...and not whine like a little bitch.

Goal Date: September 1, 2013

...This may sound too simple, but is great in consequence.

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.

A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets:

    Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
    Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!

- W. H. Murray, from The Scottish Himalayan Expedition (1951)

Something RLB discussed with me the other day has been swirling around in my head. I appreciate so much how he takes the time to teach and guide me towards betterment. What he talked with me about was intentions verses results.

I always keep a very substantial to do list. It's one of the things I love and hate about myself simultaneously. I love that it keeps me organized and focused. I hate that I'm never done doing. There's always something that can weigh on my mind of what I need to get done and often times I allow it to overwhelm me and distract me from feeling content.

I decided that day to complete two items on my to do list; clean the shed and clean the garage. I got busy early in the morning. I trimmed the grass on the side of the garage, treated the area with bug spray, created an orderly wood pile, hauled garbage from the shed up to the garage for garbage day, hauled the items that were cluttering up the garage into the shed, swept, sorted, and organized both.

Ta-da! 

What's next?

RLB could tell that I wasn't feeling the sense of accomplishment that I should have felt after completing the task I set out to do. He said, "You seem to focus primarily on intent and not on results. You should be feeling great about all that you were able to get done today. Look around, the garage looks terrific. Yet you are thinking of all the other things you need to get done."

I've continued to think on this and how it applies to my weight loss and fitness journey. I was very successful at hitting a weight loss goal a few years ago when he was in Officer Candidate School. I had purchased a beautiful dress to wear to his graduation that was three sizes too small. I had set the bar high and had to focus on the results. I only had a few months worth of time to hit the goal. This kept me very motivated each and every day. I didn't have a day to spare. I could not procrastinate. I had to keep on going.

I haven't had that kind of focus and determination this time around. I have a goal in mind but I don't have a date on it. Because exercise has become a lifelong commitment for me, I've had a "when it happens, it happens" attitude about my goals. However this has allowed for me to excuse a few days here and there when I've gotten complacent. I've had some excuses and overall haven't put in the consistent effort it will take to finish losing this excess fat.

Even as I write this, I'm hesitating because I know what I'm about to do and when I hit "publish" I'll be committed. Ugh!

I will be using this post as a daily journal of what I do each day from now until September 1, 2013.

That is the goal date.

September 1, 2013.  I will weigh 150 pounds. My BMI will be 22.8. My fat percentage will be 24%.

I will be doing a combination of lifting weights, high intensity interval training, brisk walking, or whatever else (the deck of cards workout, for example).

You are invited to join me in this. Please feel free to use this post as your daily journal, or start your own. It will be linked at the upper right of the blog under the title: Goal date: September 1, 2013.

Okay.

Ready...Set...Publish!

MGTOWs-Cat ladies of the future

The mentality of MGTOWs is the same as feminists. They are the cat ladies of the future. They hold to a moral mentality that has no basis in Christianity. Their view is a self preservation view. They don't want to lose money or have hurt feelings. They have no consideration of the future. It is all about them. They need to be happy now. MGTOWs choose masturbation over finding a wife. Soon, they will choose a sexbot. What man wouldn't want a sexbot? Pay once, unlimited orgasms. It's a great deal. Unless you listen to God.

When you listen to God, you realize that your orgasm isn't that important. Beating your own meat isn't the plan He had for you. God made men with an intense desire for sex. He also gave men a way to satisfy that desire. It's called marriage. Sex with a wife will always be better than masturbation. It will always be better than a prostitute or ONS/FWB. A wife is different. Especially a wife that submits to you as the spiritual leader of the family. When you have a sexual climax with your wife, you don't feel regret or shame. You are happy. You are happy in a spiritual way that doesn't happen any other way.

"You are a wicked and lazy servant." Heed this admonishment. Or don't, I don't care. I won't fail in being elite. I won't fail in succeeding where others don't. I will not whine and blame God for not having a wife. I spent the time and effort to find the wife I needed to proceed in life. I will scoff at those that don't. If you chose career, money, or feelings over finding a wife; that was your decision. Quit blaming others for your problems. If you don't want to leave your job to commit to finding a wife, that is your sinful nature. You suck; not God.


***A note from Sarah's Daughter***
Welcome to all of my new MGTOW visitors. Please note that this post was written by my husband, not me. Also, if you comment as "anonymous" your comment will be deleted. 

Broken into Beautiful

I'm going to switch gears in a big way with this post. I've got to tell you, I am at the end of what I can stomach of the charge against the lost and the lied to.

If you are a young woman reading this blog, I pray you can find understanding in why men are given to vitriolic rants about women and the lies they're living.

Young women have been lied to just as much as young men. Feminism is a bitter poison that has infiltrated our society, our churches and our homes.

If you are a young woman who has bought the lie. If you have given your virginity to a man who isn't your husband. If you have believed that sexual promiscuity is an expression of strength and independence, I urge you to repent of your sins. Ask for forgiveness from your Savior, Jesus Christ. Turn away from those lies. Move on in obedience to God's word.

I know you. I lived it.

I am a living, breathing, very blessed, victory story of what can become of the lost and the broken. I indulged in sexual sin to the extent that I should have been unworthy of any blessing in life. I know what self loathing is. I know what it is to give sex in exchange for attention. I know what it is to give sex in exchange for anything that would validate my self worth and would wake up to disgust, worthlessness, and rejection. I know what it is to live in rebellion and denial of its consequences.

You are not alone.

But you are responsible.

However, here's the deal. You can, right now, change. You can repent. You can be forgiven. You can go and sin no more. You can heal. And, you can enter into a relationship with your Savior.

All that you have been seeking can be found in your relationship with God who loves you.

You have come to know that the validation you feel of a guy's arms around you is only temporary. It's temporary and it can not sustain your need. Your emptiness is not because of your lack of a man, who isn't your husband. Your emptiness comes from the lie. Your emptiness is because of your rebellion. What is empty within you can only be filled with the grace you will know when you've gone to the Lord, asked for forgiveness and repented of your sins.

I pray for you, that you go from Broken Into Beautiful: 

She’s smiling on the outside
But she’s hurting on the inside
It’s getting hard just living anymore
And the shadows she has clung to
Painful things that she has been through
Have left her feeling worthless, Lord… but

You change worthless into precious
Guilty to forgiven
Hungry into satisfied
Empty into full
All the lies are shattered
And we believe we matter
When You change broken into beautiful

We live with accusations
Sometimes heavy expectations
That tell us we can never measure up
And yet You repeat with mercy
That in your eyes we are worthy
At last we see how much we’re loved cause

Though we can’t see how we can stand before you Lord
And feel valued, priceless and adored

Please, no male comments on this. 

MGTOWs are losers. Part III.

By: RedLegBen
The problem with Christian MGTOWs is that they are not attractive to women. They don't want to change their ways. They enjoy whining about the failings of women, but ignore their own failings. The bottom 25% of marriageable men should not include Christian men. The characteristics of high value marriageable men are Christian attributes. Leadership, confidence, provision, success, masculinity, bravery, and fitness are all controllable attributes for a Christian man.

If you have those characteristics, women will flock to you. I don't care if you have ears that can receive HBO. Those characteristics put you in the top half of marriageable men. Until you have taken care of those things in your life, you have no right to bitch about the quality of women available to marry. You aren't marriageable material. Fix your damn self. The MGTOW movement does nothing to help these losers. I get it. You were brought up in a feminist manner. Change. Get your self right first.

How many MGTOWs threaten to go to another country and marry? If only they had the money. Guess what. Having the money would be one of those qualities that makes you marriageable in the first place. We do these men no service by ignoring their sins (i.e. masturbation/lust/coveting) and supplicating their laziness about self improvement.

*As always, when speaking of MGTOWs, I consider the Paul/celibate gift type of man to be a different situation entirely.

Happy pills

An email exchange I've been having with a mom of young children led to her asking advice about exercise.  I suggested she make sure to exercise to improve her mood. We've all heard how exercise releases endorphins in our bodies to give us a positive feeling. 

You don't need any fancy equipment or a gym membership to get a great workout in that will work your muscles and give you a bit of a cardio workout. Take a deck of cards and assign four movements to each of the suits. When you're first starting out, use only the ace through the sixes and gradually increase. Flip the cards one by one and do as many repetitions of the movement that is assigned to the suit.

This can be done any time of the day, it's all about when you need to get that mood enhancer, and when you have a few minutes (when your baby is napping or in bed for the night for example). 


Please feel free to add in the comments any other moves that can easily be done at home with minimal equipment.


Select from the following and vary it:
Sit ups
Push ups (or plank poses if you haven't achieved a push up - hold the plank pose for 10x's the number on the card)
Burpees
Air squats
Chair dips
Thrusters
Turkish get-ups

The Burpee (yours won't look like this to start out. The idea is get your body on the floor, get your body back up and do a little jump):

The Airsquat: 

Chair dips:

Thruster (use a broom):

The Turkish get-up (if you don't have kettle bells, use a soup can to start out, graduate to a milk gallon container filled with water etc):

MGTOWs hidden sin

There is a vocal minority that subscribe to the MGTOW movement and think it works with Christianity. It is important that Christians recognize that men deciding to go the way of Paul is a valid and worthwhile objective in life. It is also important to recognize the prevalence of monk-like behavior among MGTOWs is somewhere between slim and none.

This is obvious by their behaviors. A man going the way of Paul doesn't whine about what women do. A man going the way of Paul doesn't complain about the state of the world and do nothing to change it. A man going the way of Paul doesn't blame women, but looks at himself. How can he change things for the betterment of fellow Christians? Paul taught and suffered. He didn't retreat because of society. He was vocal about Christ's teachings.

1 Corinthians 7:1-7

English Standard Version (ESV)

7 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” ² But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. ³ The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. ⁴ For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. ⁵ Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

⁶ Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.⁷ I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
Link

The sexual desires of men keep them from doing great things if not properly focused. It isn't a bug about men; it is a feature. This sexual desire can drive greatness in men. It makes husbands provide, protect, build cities, improve technologies, and invent a better mouse trap. If a man like Paul doesn't have this desire, it is considered a gift from God. He can think clearly without regular sexual release. The majority of men don't have this gift from God. The majority must satisfy this desire in one way or another. The only Christian manner to satisfy this desire is marriage.

It is not Christian to value money over marriage. It is not Christian to value feelings over marriage. If you are part of the majority of men (have sexual desire), marriage is a must. Paul's teachings said nothing about avoiding marriage if you could lose money or get hurt feelings. If you are indeed a man that doesn't have these desires, it is a gift from God. If you aren't, logic dictates that you find a wife. How you do that is what I enjoy conversing about.

Teaching my son what to look for in this sea of damaged women is a great goal of mine. My son does not have the gift of celibacy. He likes boobs. A lot. I was not given the gift of celibacy. Porn, ONSs, and FWBs were my norm. It is the norm of the vast majority of men I know. It was literally the only way I could think in any rational manner. All I could think about was where my next sexual release would come from. When I have talked to men about this, I have found it is a 90+% of the population problem for men. Marriage is the only way out for those of us who want to live in obedience to God's commands.

UPDATE: Via Freenortherner.

Gillis Triplett

I don't agree with the lack of a gift of celibacy he states. I have seen it or been deceived by them. However, he addresses many of the same issues I just mentioned.

Regarding the fat shaming post and my dear friend, Michele

It has been said that the message of my blog is useless because I blog anonymously.  The truth is, I don't. My family and friends have access to my blog. The following comment left on the post Fat shaming - doing my part is evidence of this:

I am going to start my reply with a disclaimer of sorts: I am a silent reader of this blog, usually. I am a sensitive person and anyone who thinks this is a weakness is an idiot. Also, when I write, my grammar etc is not perfect. Anyone who wants to claim that this makes me less than intelligent can take a flying leap. :) I'm sad that I have to start this way, but this crowd is pretty quick to attack.

I am this person: And people such as these seek out blogs with titles like this one and read voluntarily to get themselves more upset? Look, I claim no responsibility for stupidity like that.
I am this person: a woman who has bloated into Hogzilla proportions
I am this person: gluttonous sinners.

I am also confused by how my friends now view me. I never knew you felt this way about me. Or that you think my husband is holding on for dear life to our marriage because of how I look. While this blog may not have been written about me, it obviously pertains to me.

This was written by my friend of seventeen years, Michele. Knowing her as I do, I know this took a lot of courage to write. Because of that, I would like to take the time to respond to her.

Michele, I do not find your sensitive nature a weakness. It is a very common trait among women. It is the very trait that allows us to mother the way we do and most importantly, when applied with submission, it allows us to love our husbands through any amount of adversity they face.

I am also the person you describe. If I've written about something, there's a very good chance it's because of my personal dealing with it. The issue of weight and fitness is very personal for me. I'll get into that more in a bit.

Regarding how I feel about you:  I hold you and your husband in the highest regard. My positive opinion and admiration of you has never been affected by your weight. I have asked your husband recently to guest post here because of how inspirational your story is. I have always thought fondly on your marriage and perseverance through all of the adversity I've known you to have gone through.

It has been seven years since you and I have really talked. I don't know what life has been for you in that time. I actually don't believe your marriage is in jeopardy because of your struggle with your weight. In fact, I have no idea your husband's perspective on it. I do know he loves you. And because of that I know he wants you to live a very long life with him.

We went through a lot together. I remember celebrating with you when you got back into your black jeans. Do you remember that? We used to exercise together. You and I, as a team, worked to improve our fitness and health. What I didn't do then is speak of gluttony. Though I know now you and I both indulge in this sin. 

I encourage you to repent of this sin. I also encourage you to continue to pray about it. I have found it to be a very difficult commitment to make. I am tempted every single day. I fight every day with gluttony. But I keep fighting. And I will keep fighting. My conviction is not because of what I have accomplished, it is because of the demons I battle every.single.day. I write about it to convict myself further. I will not turn back. I will not surrender. I apologize if my writing has not revealed my own humility in the matter. As I said in Now let me at the truth, an aspect to my personality is the tendency to be crass and indelicate.

My journey to turn away from gluttony began with fat shaming. I, personally respond best to very poignant messages. It has always been this way with me. RLB has bemoaned that he must verbally whack me along side the head in order for me to get something. It wasn't his nature and it felt as though he had to be mean to me in order for me to receive his counsel. Brutal honesty - that's what I respond to. Because I know that is true for me, I have assumed it may be true with other women. I find it hard to believe I am such an outlier that no other woman receives Truth the way I do.

I've explained it in past posts but what literally moved me to action was two statements from Vox Day: "No woman looks attractive over 180 pounds." and "Cellulite does not look attractive on anyone."
What was coupled with these two statements was some lab results that showed I had high "bad" cholesterol and this picture Marie tagged me in on Facebook from Halloween two years ago: 

My daughter was looking over my shoulder as I posted this picture and said, "Mom, you were huge then." I was 197 pounds.

I'm going to switch gears here and ask the question: Fat shaming, does it work? Prior to my passing along the excerpt from Chateau Heartiste in Fat shaming - doing my part, I had written six posts that spoke of weight loss. Now, understand, per every person who comments on this blog, there are at least ten readers. What has been most interesting to me is what will be commented on. See, I've said the very same things I said in the fat shaming post, elsewhere. But what drove an emotional reaction within the readership here was one word: shame. That emotional reaction created a plethora of comments. It had to be because of the word shame. Take a look:

In Week one of Paleo  I said the following:

 Now a good mommy blogger would end this post now. I doubt I'll be known as a good mommy blogger.

Why am I committed to losing weight and getting fit? To have a smokin' hot bod for RLB.

He proposed marriage to a 19 year old who was 5'8", 145 pounds, had an hourglass figure, and long blond hair. My looks weren't all that qualified me, he had a stalker that was hot too. However, his marrying me was not a permission slip to let my visual appeal go to hell. I can do nothing about being 37, though I have maintained a very strict skin care regimen all of my adult life and have a face that is thankfully still wrinkle free.

I'm too lazy to find the exact words but our favorite blogger (who I recommend to you all the time) at either Vox Popoli or Alpha Game, when a man asked, "what do I say when my wife asks if I think she's fat?" had this to say: "tell her that you don't find cellulite attractive on anyone and if she would like to lose the weight, you can show her how." On another occasion Vox said, "unless a woman is over six feet tall, and likely even then, no woman should weigh more than 180 pounds."

I read that when I was at my heaviest, one year ago, 197 pounds. I knew I wouldn't even have to ask RLB if he agreed. You don't have to ask your husbands either. They agree. So do women, they just lie. It was then that I made this commitment. God and I talk about it all the time. He agrees too and is my greatest encourager outside of RLB.

RLB has spared no expense that I have requested, puts up with me occasionally forgetting to feed the rest of them, and allows me to bore him with the details about every WOD (workout of the day) I do at the Crossfit gym.

I thoroughly enjoy putting on a pair of jeans that are too big and have RLB tell me they look like crap because they are hanging off my butt. Greatest compliment ever!

 In Shiny boobs I said:

Ladies, your husbands are visual creatures. They like to look at nice things. What are you doing to make sure you are the nicest thing he has to look at?
Don't even start with me about how "he needs to love me for who I am."
You had something going on that caught his eye that helped him decide he wanted to marry you. 
Keep doing it. Don't be childish and petulant about this.

[...]

If he likes makeup on you, wear it. If he likes skirts on you, wear them. If you need to lose some weight, do so. If smell is his thing, wear the perfume he prefers. Again, it's not complicated.

In Choosing Esther I said:

I purchased the dress, a dress three sizes smaller than what I would have worn twelve weeks earlier. While RLB was in training, I was working my butt off, literally. I took representing our marriage seriously. I had my hair professionally styled, had professionally manicured nails, and all the other various beauty treatments that we women do to represent.
This was all for the man I loved. The man I chose to marry. The man I voluntarily vowed to stay with for the rest of my life.

[...]

How thankful we are for Queen Esther, the beautiful women taken as what would be considered today a sex slave, for her obedience and submission. For a year she went through beauty treatments for a man she did not love, a man she did not choose, a man she did not voluntarily vow to be with for life. In fourteen days we will celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, thanks to Esther.

In Crabs in a bucket I said:

When you make public a desire to lose weight to another person who needs to as well but isn't ready to make the commitment, that is when you'll hear crab mentality. I've been asked and told the most ludicrous things regarding losing weight and getting in shape. Always from fat people. For instance:  "Is RLB making you do this?" "I'm so thankful my husband loves me for who I am." "I would never want to be as skinny as I was before." "I could never punish my body the way you do."

In Doritos® be damned I said:

Hi, my name is SD and I am addicted to food a glutton.  It has been seven days since my last indulgence. 
And all the gluttons reading moaned. "No, SD, not again. Don't talk about weight again. Can't I just read peacefully and enjoy topics that I don't think apply to me?"

Sorry glutton, you'll have to either close the tab or come on the journey with me.

I've heard it said that we often do this to our own selves. I see that as something different. The challenges we place on our own selves, the self doubt and questioning are there to build fortitude and conviction. It causes us to dig deeper when making a decision, to find others that have gone before us successfully, to pray to God for confirmation and guidance. When you set out to lose weight for example, it is natural to think of how you might fail. What is so important is that the thought has materialized. You will now seek out advice on how others have succeeded. When you are satisfied with having all the information you need, you set out on your journey.

And in  Here's to having my jeans look like crap on my ass I said:

I hope I'm not alone in making this next year a year to focus on health and fitness. If you haven't started your journey towards health, I hope you too decide there is no better time than now to start. You know it's time to stop looking in the mirror with shame and remorse. You know it's time to call out to God and pray for His assistance in giving you a resolve that can not be shaken. Ask Him to guard your thoughts so you may defeat your complacency. It is time to acknowledge the sin of gluttony and repent of it. Free yourself from it. Hold tight to the words of Galatians 5:16-26. No, I'm not going to give them to you. You look it up. Write it out and plaster it wherever you'll see it most.

Don't hide behind the lie that it's what's on the inside that matters. Your insides show on your outsides. You know that. Every relationship in your life will improve when you defeat that which is in your mind that holds you back. Most importantly your relationship with God will improve. And isn't that, after all, what we're all here for?

Now that I've become committed to fitness and health, my mind has been searching for other areas of improvement. Funny how that works. Please want that for yourself. You'll never regret it.

You can see for yourself that not one of those posts drew the ire and reaction that the post titled "Fat shaming" did. There's barely a mention of having been inspired and certainly no mention of having been offended. I openly filleted myself with my own personal example of gluttony and...nothing. I speak of doing it for my husband, the very thing Roissy speaks of in the post of his I link. But still, no reaction. What got the ladies talking? Shame. The word shame. Not the action of shaming, my goodness, look at some of the things I wrote in the six posts prior...it was the word itself.

In closing, I'll say what I said in Personal responsibility once again:

 If what is affecting your mood is something that will take a long process to change (like losing weight and getting fit and healthy), you must...MUST take action. Every time the sadness and self condemnation enters your brain. You must make a commitment to taking action. Inaction is defeat. You have no right to wallow in a pity party if you have chosen inaction. Get up and get moving. If your accumulation of fat has caused you to feel bad, realize that your mood has affected the tranquility of your home. Confess this truth to your husband. Just say the words: "I'm sorry my mood has been sour, I am struggling with how far I've let myself go. I'm working to change this. Please forgive me. Please pray for me."

Gluttony is a sin that must be repented of (this means turn away from). You have been created to be able to do this. Believe it. Listen to the Holy Spirit.

A quick Bible search of this concept of shame lists six pages of verses. 

Paul states:  

Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.”  Awake to righteousness, and do not sin; for some do not have the knowledge of God. I speak this to your shame. - 1 Corinthians 15:33-34

And finally John 8:1-12  

But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.

Now early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people came to Him; and He sat down and taught them.  Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act.  Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?”  This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear.
So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.”  And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.  When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?”
 She said, “No one, Lord.”
And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”
Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.”

That which he wrote on the ground, did it shame them? 

And then there are the most important, admonishing words our Savior has said: "Go and sin no more."

Guest post - Christian marriage in South Africa

We've had the pleasure of getting to know Juann and Yolandi having met in the blog world and communicating via Facebook. I asked if they would tell us their story of how they became Christians and about their relationship. I hope you are as encouraged as I am in seeing the similarities of a couple and their Christian walk living in a country most of us, unfortunately, know little about. 

 

 Yolandi and I have been married for just under a year, but we'd actually gone through some serious tribulations even before we were engaged. We stuck together through not having enough money to eat, to me having to quit studying because I simply couldn't keep up with the 18 hour days my job at the restaurant plus my studies demanded. There was a loved one who attempted suicide, my mom's divorce from one of the most miserable POS'es I've ever met and other things along those lines. 

But in the end, she has proven that she loves me no matter how much or little money I make. I was blessed in a very real way by being offered a job I never applied for by a company I had no connection to whatsoever. Today, I am moderately successful and we can afford a nice “bourgeois” lifestyle. The best part about all this is that I know my wife will support me if times ever got tough again. Her faith in our Father and in me is the single biggest driving force in my life and I hope it serves as a concrete example of why a loving wife is of the utmost importance in fostering a healthy and robust family unit. I feel ready and equipped to take on anything life throws our way because I have the unwavering support of an awesome wife who trusts me and wishes me success.

Juann:

My most intense experience of our Father happened one morning in church, 17 years ago. I was an angry teenager. I had to deal with divorce, friends who died because of utter stupidity and also the usual stuff life throws your way when you're poor and not really something to look at. I was losing the plot completely when one Sunday morning our preacher gave a sermon on the time of Grace rapidly running out. He lit a candle on the pulpit and said it represents God's period of Grace. He invited us to come forward and confess our sins and ask for forgiveness. I hesitated for good five minutes (an eternity in a church service, mind you), when I finally scraped together the courage to step forward and take responsibility. I had no sooner made it to the front than a gust of wind blew the candle out. Whether or not it was mere coincidence I can't say, but it was the most powerfully clear message I could have received. This was 1996 and it took ten years to rectify the mistakes I had made in two. The Lord had taught me so much and has awarded me with wisdom beyond my years, the Joy that is knowing Him and a loving wife with which I can practice all that which I have learned.

Yolandi:

I came to really KNOW Jesus when I started dancing at Vibrant School of Dance. Vibrant is a christian dance school. Through the freedom of dance and the interaction with other born again christians I made a choice to knowingly accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. As my husband can also share with you, I was a VERY shy person. A real introvert, with a lot of acceptance (am I good enough?) issues. My parents did not raise me like that at all, it was just the lies of the enemy, I unfortunately believed. 

My confidence and faith grew and so did my dancing, but unfortunately my dancing grew faster than my spiritual life. I wasn't doing anything “wrong” in the sense but I kinda got stuck in my faith. Nobody really knew that except for me and Jesus. At first I didn't want to admit it, but faithful as the Holy Spirit is, I was convinced. None the less my dance teacher saw potential in me to become a dance teacher myself. I trained with her and started my teacher's examinations. Growing in my faith again my dancing got to a whole other level. I was truly worshiping God through dance and not just making moves to Christian music. I danced at the school for nine years in total. 

My biggest faith lesson came about two and a half years ago where I started to experience hip pain. I carried on dancing with pain for about a year and thought it was just muscles that were sore. Unfortunately it got worse and worse. I went to a hip specialist who said he is 99% sure it is labral tears in my hip.  For the specialist to be 100% sure that it is that, I had to go for an MRI scan. Unfortunately our medical aid did not want to pay for the MRI. Which is a lot of money, we didn't have. So I had to resign as a dance teacher and had to stop dancing completely. As being a teacher was my only income I didn't have a job. I worked on and off for about six months and then I started working at a local mall for a lady I used to teach dance to. For fifteen months I didn't dance at all. In the beginning it just felt like a relatively long holiday, but reality soon sank in. I went through all the “why is this happening to me?” Jesus knows that this is my job, but so MUCH more than that, it is my passion. Suddenly just gone! 

My faith went through a bit of a struggle, but nevertheless I quoted to myself Jeremiah 29:11 “....For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plan to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future”.......So I HAD to cling to that with all I had. I always knew that the money for the MRI had to come from somewhere or someone else. I had the epiphany that the only reason “bad” things would happen to people is firstly to get them closer to their Creator! I'm so glad that I realized that so I sought Him even more. Just to know that I can get closer to Jesus, my priorities changed. I tried everyday to put Jesus first in my life. THEN came the blessing, someone gave me the money for the MRI scan. It was their tithe that they had to give to someone and the Lord directed them to me.

I'm getting my operation to fix the tears in a little more than a month's time.

All the glory and honor to Jesus Christ, my Healer!

It wasn't all bad this fifteen months past, my ABBA blessed me with a wonderful husband who I know loves me very much. Through Jesus we can overcome any problem that “life” throws at us. It is because of Jesus' Grace and Mercy that we are so privileged in knowing and loving and accepting one another.  I absolutely love being married! I believe that the ONLY way to have a great marriage is to do it God's way!! Truly blessed!!

The good wife

 

Marie emailed this to me. I like it. I'm pretty sure husbands like it too. Mine sure does. There are times right now with his injury that I do help him with his shoes too. 

When I looked for the source to get a larger picture to post, I found that Snopes is suspect of its origin.  I've known for quite some time what a left leaning, feminist site Snopes is but they sure have outdone themselves with this one, you'll have to venture over there to read their hand waving.

Whether you like any of these suggestions or not, try this: choose five of them and just do them. See what happens. They really can't actually hurt you. And who knows, it might be the very thing that will turn your bad marriage to good, or your good marriage to great.